HostTracy

My love and prayers for your loss Pam. Just as many joyous smiles for such a heartfelt recall of your friendship. Very special memories. Thank you for sharing. 

Such a very good way to think. Love, happy, enough starts with you. You are the key! 🗝️🗝️❤️

Happy Birthday Gary!!! Such inspiration! I am also so glad your daughter is home after such a difficult and scary time. Prayers for her continued recovery and for family strength. 🙏

I want you all to know regardless of emotional whatever... I am so proud to be in my own place. This has been a long hard battle and I did it! Nothing will take that victory from me. All of the "other stuff" is just coming from my particular disabilities after my stroke... Don't worry I have not forgotten that I am a fighter and can kick some stroke butt lol. Janelle Kitty is still my point of solise. She's on my chest right now making biscuits 😊. Living by myself is opening the hidden doors I keep. There is a lot of quiet and my mind takes advantage. I think it is good. I realize so much that I have a lot of inner healing to do... Not just being a stroke survivor. It is exhausting, locking away emotional pain has only been a bad thing for me. I'm doing some spring cleaning...a very needed task. I just want to say I think so much of each of you. Positively an extension of my family. Haha see I'm a blubbering mess... I'm going through a very emotional sentimental time. I love you guys. ❤️

Cinnamon!!! Believe it or not I remember hearing that ants do not like cinnamon. When I moved out of my dad's house I noticed a million ants under the big trash receptacle outside. I grabbed the big container of cinnamon my stepmom had gotten from Costco. I spread it over the entire area and tada the ants were gone the next day. 🙌

Sue that puts a new spin on adventure! I was overwhelmed and exhausted for you! 😅

Nancy you are an inspiration! 

Wonderful! 15 years is a celebration! 😊

Sue hang in there friend. I'm thinking of you. A electric blanket is possibly a great idea. I do the side Stepping on the stairs too holding on for dear life. My PT used to really fuss at me but my knees are shot and I have a stronger leg and a weaker leg. I have had to do what I have had to do. Thank you for the update. 

Family dynamics are difficult. 

I agree Heather. I will tell you that my dad and stepmom are very old school and my daddy is plain hardheaded. It won't just be suggesting it will be convincing and it won't be easy. My dad has told me, "Do not talk to your sister or tell her anything about any of this.". I can't be in this place and I told my stepmom I cannot do what they are telling me to do. She is Daddy's daughter, my sister, and her step daughter...and all the lies and secrets hurt her and me. I am completely in agreement with you. It would make me feel better. My stepmom takes these suggestions as saying she is incapable and she feels threatened. 

Thank you Janelle. Thank you Asha...no worries at all and no toes stepped on. This is not anything I have been through before. I'm in a total different place in the scenario. Trust me I am trying so hard to pull from my own memories so I can be supportive. It kinda is yucky that I have a lot of memory loss but not total. So thank you... Any thoughts are welcome. ❤️

I can't sleep. Am I behaving wrongly to my dad and stepmom? My stepmom told me she wished things were just him and her with no kids involved. I love them both. 

Oh Pam... So many hugsss my friend!!! I cannot even imagine how you are feeling. It breaks my heart to hear your cry. I am here for you no matter ever! I wish I could just pick you up and make everything better. You are in my prayers Pam. I see you...i hear you. ❤️🙏

Thank you Asha. The nurse came later this morning and when I left 30 minutes ago he was in good spirits. I really appreciate your words. 

I'm a little giddy thinking about it Heather! ☺️

He is gorgeous! and a fighter! I'm am so thrilled you are getting down there to see him.  I know you are over the moon! Look at that little man... You be sure to get some pics of him while mimi is holding him!!! 

Sue thank you so much for everything! It is nice to know someone is finding good in my journey good or bad. I feel so much the same and truly enjoy reading your blog. I feel I know you so much more after reading even across the world! Thank you for letting me be a part of your life... It's a treasure! Good news BTW... My panic attacks have settled down, no more sounds or seeing things. My Psychiatrist said he is not very concerned because he has been keeping up with my moments (that's what I call them). He said it has always happened when something very stressing has happened and that it has subsided fairly quickly each time and he sees that I am aware and forthcoming about it to him. These are all positive things in spite of what's happening. He knew from the beginning that I would have break through moments...but he says I handling them like a champ! I just smiled and said thank you. I don't feel like a champ during lol but after things calm I feel OK which is good. 🙂

Heather 😳 I hadn't even thought of that lol. Man I hope not either. I did see my Psychiatrist Wednesday and he all in all was pleased even though I've been going through a lot. He said he feels that I am handling this pretty good... That it was a pretty big blip and I am already feeling better. No med changes yay! Also, one thing comes to mind because I have Cerebellar Cognitive Affectice Syndrome and it is really rare and a lot of people have never heard of it much less know what it does. From what I understand it can rear its head by displaying symptoms of many psychiatric issues. I read it can have similarities at different times to ADHD, Bi-polar, Schizophrenia, Anxiety Disorders, Depressive disorders, and more. So it kinda makes sense in that way. I will be keeping notes though...and share with my Dr. and Therapist. I am superdeduper excited about my own place! I can't wait to share the good news! 

Janelle lol I get emotional everytime I really think about any of it. This stroke has humbled me so much. I know what it is to truly be thankful. I don't know that I ever understood that as well as I do now. Oh shoot...here come the feels 🧥<------- I can't delete the coat 😐. 😭. I love everybody! 

Yes yes yes!!! I'm so very excited. I have felt a little self conscious of seeing my friend after so long. I was size 4 and hot lol, I didn't of course have my current issues... I don't want to break out stuttering in front of him. I sorta had a crush on him in elementary school. 🤭 My sister is a real estate agent too so I asked her to call and talk to Jim about the duplex. I didn't know but she told him my worries. Jimmy said "I can't believe she thinks that for a moment. I would never ever think less of her for anything.". I got all emotional once again lol. How can I ever thank him. His help means SO MUCH to me. Without him reaching out to me, I probably still would not have found anything yet. God has heard all the prayers!!! 

UPDATE:  My friend Jimmy says the duplex is finished but he had to inspect it himself to see if all would pass THDA inspection for section 8 housing. He said 2 more things have to be worked on (he is very aware of what their inspection needs are) and to give him about a week and then i can come lokk at it and we can fill out the paperwork. The THDA paperwork can take up to 2 weeks to complete the process which includes their inspection. So 3-4 weeks!!!!!!!!! This news made me ugly cry lol. Feeling very blessed, excited, so thankful, emotional, happy, a bit impatient but i can wait 😀, a little scared but i am ready to face it!!!! Oh my goodness I am full of the feels!!!! 

Thank you 😊! It still amazes me! 🙃

Janelle I hear you loud and clear! You know sometimes I get too big for my britches and life has a way of bursting my seams. Always a price to pay. I'm getting better at being a penny pincher. I have my ideas in a book... I go back to my days of speech therapy (for me it was a lot of cognitive work). Start.... Finish. Choose another idea. Start... Finish. Choose another idea. 😊 It works... I don't always have my therapist's voice in my head but I work 100% better when I do. 

Sue it it a happy message to hear about how much you enjoyed your company. Thanks for letting us know. Also sounds like Chris has wonderful plans and aspirations for his future. I know you are so proud. 🙂 Keep us up to date about your coming surgeries and I send my blessings. BTW 😁 you will eternally be "HotSue" to me for it has just made home in my memory. Many (((hugs))). 

Guess what Heather? I have a sewing machine!!! A really good sewing machine!!! In storage right now and need to get it seviced but that is a great idea!