Life keeps me so busy now and in so many different directions. Idon't get in here as often anymore. At one time I wanted to almost live here. I am not sorry about the way things have changed in my life over the past several months, I am just tired and need to keep moving on. Since Dick had his stroke 5 1/2 years ago, the journey has been an eyeopener to many and a closing of the door to even more.
There are even some in here that have closed minds and closed the doors and believe that their
This day/weekend means so many different things to me. Of course the rememberance of all of our soldiers is first on the list. I come from a long line of military people in my family. And Dick is also a veteran of the USAF. I salute ALL who have given their time and their lives to keep us America, land of the free and home of the Brave. :forgive_me?: Flowers are placed on graves and tears are shed.
This is also the weekend I try to have my garden in by. Well, I have half of it in. I did not
Wow, 63 guests on and 1 member. Me. Middle of the night and I am the only member awake. I am talking to myself :chat: LOL
Oh well, I have been a night owl for so long now. Sleep is like a far away dream to me.
Richard has been enjoying being able to drive the tractor around on the farm. It gives him a freedom he really enjoys. He forgot how bumpy and tiring it was though. After he disced up one field for me he was tired, but a happy tired. I could see some of the old Richard back i
The weather is finally co-operating. I had Dick out on the tractor this week discing up the fields. He loves it so much. I love to watch his face as he goes by on Big Blue (Our 9600 Ford tractor) For just an instant I can see the pre-stroke man again. When he came in for dinner, he had such a self satisfied look on his face. He couldn't wait to get back out there. :Clap-Hands: My new garden area is now ready to plant. 2 acres of beautiful rich soil to grow a multitude of fresh veggies.
It has been a while since I have been in here to write. It is getting harder to write anything down. I do come in and read every now and then just to keep up on everyone, but I know that I have missed a lot. I have been on a journey that has been a long soul searcher, and I am afraid that it is far from over. I can truly understand how one can take their own life, but I know that is not something I can do. I understand why people drink or do drugs to get away from the realities of life, but tha
Since Dick had his stroke we have tried to take one day at a time. Somewhere along the line I forgot to stay on that track. :bop: The love that I have for my husband is more than I could ever put into words. He is trying so hard to be strong for us through this new journey in our lives. We were hoping for a quiet weekend, the kids gone now, and grandbaby on trip with mommy and daddy, but dear friends knowing we are hurting show up to make sure we are OK. Bless their hearts, they are only trying
As most know, we have been in the process of adopting 4 children. Well, it all fell through and we are devastated. I am so angry with the so called system taking care of these kids. They have done a sever injustice to them right from the start and we got caught right in the middle. Not only did they not help these kids like they promised to do over and over again, but the agency also ruined us financially with what little we had left. And this is supposed to be a Christian organization to boot.
Power on, power off, power on power off, thank God the power is back again. :big_grin: :happydance: When we lost power again today my heart sank down in to my feet. I am addicted to the modern conveniences, like running water and being able to see things. I admit it, I think it is time for the 12 step program to begin."HI, my name is Margaret, and I am an addict to simple everyday things we all take for granted."
Spring is just around the corner. Which corner? I am on my way to find i
[/b] Hey, we have lights ! I can even flush the toilet! YEA!!!!! The kids can watch some TV and I can cook and clean. Just kidding, I am glad to be back to the real world here. The freezing rain hit us hard here and took down many trees and a lot of people are still without power. The temperature is so cold and it is hard on many.
'We all slept in the livingroom to keep warm the last two nights. We tried to make it like a campout for the kids and I think they enjoyed it most of the tim
I woke to the alarm as usual this morning. It seemed I had just shut my eyes and I really did not want to get up. I think that seems to be going around lately. The puppy was so excited to see me as I stumbled for the kitchen to get things ready for the kids for school. He begged for some grandma lovin' and then his breakfast. With my eyes not very clear, I opened the curtain and stood there in awe. The sun was trying to peak up over the horizon and all I could see was one magnificent ray of lig
The fine line has been crossed. My poor hubby looks at me and asks what he can do to help. I don't know anymore. He is such a wonderful person. I miss the old Richard so bad tonight. It does not seem to get easier with time. There are times I try to think back and then I cry. Why bring up something that is no more? It is a new time and age. I have learned to live with it most of the time. It is so hard when I need his arms and his wisdom and his touch just to let me know he is there.
Am I o
:hiya: The bad days seem to outnumber the good days lately. But today was pretty good up until this early evening. I love these kids so much and the little one can be such a sweetie, but there is something so wrong with him and no one wants to get involved in his care and treatment. It makes me so sad to see that they are willing to throw away this childs very brilliant mind. They know we don't have the money or the knowledge to do this on our own, so why are they doing this? If he gets no help
:wicked: I think I could use a few more faces but then...... I had hoped I had things back in a somewhat controlled atmosphere and then the bottom dropped out again. I hate feeling this way. I hate having to be the mean one. I hate it when those that say they will help are more of a burden than help. I hate being lied to, and then getting excuses instead of truth. I hate being tired and no one seems to give a damn. I hate those that take and give nothing in return, I think that is what this wo
It has been 5 years since Dick's stoke. I will never forget this night as long as I live. Today I was at the hospital with Mom and went to the cafateria to get something to eat. (The food hasn't got any better) Some people were sitting across from me at a booth and they were planning their mothers funeral. She had a stroke and the Drs. said would be dead within 48 hours. I wanted to scream at them "DON"T GIVE UP ON HER." But instead I sat there and cried. Dear God, I remember the same thing bein
Two more days and still not ready for Christmas. The kids are so excited and it is fun to watch. When my girls were small it was my present to watch all the glam and glitter in their twinkling little eyes. Now I get to do it again. I remember not being ready for the holidays then too. And somehow everything still went just fine when the day arrived. I am not going to get in a "Mood" like I see so many other people in. I love to celebrate the birth of Christ, and be with family and friends. It ca
Normally I hate to shop. I have never liked it. My husband is greatful for that too. But with the new kids, Christmas will be fun again this year. I love to see kids open gifts on Christmas morning. Our rule is they may get into their stockings when they get up, but may not touch the gifts until after we go to church Christmas morning. We always did that with our kids too and they even hold that tradition in their houses. My mom loves top have her whole family at church with her that glorious
Our family is so very excited and down right happy. My daughters husband came home from Iraq on thursday. The baby is getting used to her Daddy, and Daddy is trying so hard to do all he can for her. She took her first steps today and he was so thrilled that she waited for him to get home. He feels he has missed so much, but I keep telling him there is so much more. He missed the colic, the cutting of her 6 pearly white teeth and ear infections and allergic reactions to meds. She is getting to th
The sermon in church on Sunday really made me think. I sometimes wonder if that man at the pulpit can see right through me and know each and every thing that I have thought and done. Too often, we who are blessed, make our blessings into burdens. We take the things that are so precious and turn them into jobs. I wonder if someday we will be held accountable for all the pleasures we have failed to enjoy. It says that somewhere in the Talmud. My dear husband, parents, children and even my home are
Mirrors are a shallow lot.
They never look down inside.
But it's down underneath the surface
That the spirit of youth abides.
Sometimes the mirror will flatter you.
Sometimes it will cause you to flee.
But since I know so much more than it,
My mirror can never fool me.
My Dad has always lied about his age,(39) and that is where I picked up on it(29). I know 10 years is quite young for him but what can I say..... He has aged so much in the last few months. It won't be lon
Thanksgiving is always a wonderful time of the year for me. It is one of the holidays where so much food is prepared and eaten and there are no presents or baskets of eggs or anything other than giving thanks for all that we have and all that we are. This year I have 4 more people to be thankful for. God has given me a chance at helping their little lives turn out a bit better. What a great gift! I have been so tired lately and there is no question about it, it is real hard to keep up the pace a
Tonight I sit here half laughing and half crying. Am I doing the right things? What is my next step? Am I just keeping ahead of the game or am I drowning and too dumb to know it? They say, if there isn't enough time for something, then you have to make the time. What do I not do to make the time for the other things? Who do I ignore to pay attention to the other? What job gets left undone for the other to be done? The quiet is too quiet tonight. Yet noise would probably drive me insane. The s
Here I am sitting wrapped up in my baby grandaughters nice soft fleece blanket typing on this silly old keyboard. Why? There are so many things that I need to get done but here I am. I can't stop thinking about everything. Grandma's little girl looks so much better today. After last weeks scare of her stopping breathing in the middle of a traffic jam and this week covered from head to toe with a rash. She is allergic to that antibiotic too. I did manage to finish the trim in the girls new room
Rant-On: I sometimes think that I should write a book, and then I laugh. I barely have time to sit here for a few minutes and bitch about things. Since the barn fell last week I have been working to get a shelter built for the cattle for winter and trying to get the new addition to the house finished, while taking mom in for her dr. appointments, scheduling her next cancer surgery and dealing with some people that seem to think that I am a real push over while they try to steal a part of my land
"If I was a drinker I'd be in my favorite bar tonight."
I just don't know how to get through to my new 13 year old girl. I guess that no one really knows how to get into a 13 year olds head, but I have sure been making the effort and getting no where fast. She got a detention at school today for being disrespectful and she dares say it was not her fault. I will back my child to the hilt when they are not treated right, but when they are wrong they pay the price. She actually expected me to
The kids, Dick, Mom and Dad, and the farm are keeping me so busy lately. Tonight I sit here Listening to two teenagers laughing and giggling in the kitchen playing cards. They seem so happy in their own little world, but I know the troubled minds they are dealing with and it breaks my heart. I am not unhappy for taking in the kids, but I am feeling a bit overwellmed tonight. My house is always open to my family and friends and they seem to know it. My brother in law is going through a nasty divo