I went on the first weekend of my course. There were 120 people on the camp, some newbie Bishop's Certificate people like me, some doing the first year of the Diploma and some in their second year who are just about to finish their Diploma. Now the people who belong to the Newcastle Anglican Diocese inhabit a small world and I have been around it a long time so of course I bumped into a lot of people I knew from way back. I would look at someone and think: "Could that be Ken..or Joe...or Geor
Here I am, back home again. Where did that week go? A lot of the time was taken up looking after the grand kids but there was time for other things too. I went with Shirley to Timbral Practice and caused a lot of laughter by always finishing the exercise with my timbral ( tambourine) pointing in the wrong direction. The other ladies, mainly from Islander backgrounds, in the beginners class seemed much more musically agile than me and tried to help me with my rhythmn, which really made for a lo
Hi all
My bags are packed. I can't drop Ray into his accommodation until 10am so I will have time to check, double check, panic etc long before I have to actually go down to Sydney to catch the plane. I am glad Trev is coming down with me as I won't have to tackle the city after dark and we will have a light meal somewhere so I don't die of hunger on the three hour flight.
We had a nice weekend, the car boot sale at the church on Saturday, then an afternoon in the garden. It was bea
I just lost a blog, it expressed perfectly what I wanted to say...it was polished...it was wise...it was so good...and it disappeared into cyberspace. Dash it all!!!!
We've had a few good days and a few bad days lately. I wrote a vent of a blog last night...I was so mad with how life is going I just couldn't think about the good things in life at all...so I wrote a blog that expressed all my ugly feelings. I can say I was lucky that it too would not post at all. No-one needs to read all
Today I took Ray to the neurologist, he is the best known in our area and has been on Ray's case since the 1990 stroke so knows his history. We see him every six months as he hold a watching brief as do several other specialists. This way if Ray goes to hospital I can ask for them to be contacted about anything in their area of expertise. It is comforting to know that he will do that if asked.
As usual we had the preliminary questions, I always supply some initial information like when Ra
Like most caregivers I suspect I often fail to thank my spouse for going that extra mile, for doing something that benefits me more than it benefits him and for being tolerant in the face of me wanting him to do something that formerly he wouldn't have had to be involved in. Prior to the 1999 strokes that disabled Ray and retired me to look after him Ray and I lived very seperate lives. We lived under the same roof of course, we shared the resonsibilities of running a house and raising a family
You know that saying: "a change is as good as a holiday"? Well whoever said that obviously had never lived the caregivers' life. To the caregiver a lack of change is a relaxed life. No change = good, change = bad. So why do I think I need to make some changes in my life?
For one thing I know a rut is like a grave just not as deep. We form a rut in our lives when we do the same thing day after day. So when I set up my nice routine, where I know I can cope, know I can do the things that
Ten years ago today I was sitting in Bendigo Hospital about 800 miles from home. In the bed I sat beside was my seriously ill husband Ray who had had a major stroke and was now completely paralyzed down his left side, arm and leg now useless. He could not eat without assistance and his words were slurred and almost unintelligible. It was a bitter end to what was supposed to be a ten day holiday. We had taken our time driving down to Victoria from New South Wales. We had visited friends on the
WARNING!! THIS IS A VENT!!
I can't believe that so much has happened in a couple of days since Ray got home. We have had a fall, some arguments, lots of "accidents" and this evening an argument about shaving!! Ray has used an electric shaver solely for the past two years and when I asked him to use it tonight he said: "I don't use this. I shave at the sink with a razor." That was really out of left field so I dropped the subject and will get Jeff to shave him tomorrow morning. Safer th
Ray is back home again. I went and picked him up this morning. The nurse who signed off on his respite said he had been no trouble and they had loved having him. I got her to look at the "incident report" and she said he hadn't had any falls etc. No good asking Ray as he would always say "no". But he seems okay. Of course by lunchtime he had already had one change as he didn't make it all the way to the toilet because of the walk in from the verandah which is I guess longer than he has bee
Usually when Ray is in respite care I see him once a week. I went yesterday to see if he had sufficient clothes etc and he was just fine. He has a nice large airy room and after he and I had talked a while we had coffee at "his" table and the three ladies he shares it with are permanent residents and seemed really nice. Trev and I went again today as we changed back off daylight saving last night and I was worried that his watch would be wrong. It was fine, he said the nurse changed it at bre
Ray and I are just back from Camp Breakaway. The weather was glorious though it has just started raining here. The food, assistance and accommodation was the usual high standard. I realised how lucky we are to be able to go there. For me it is a place where I am encouraged to go for a walk, have a nap, sit in the sun and read without having to look after Ray. I am encouraged to leave Ray in the carers company, he is wheeled around, fed, showered, undresssed and put to bed. I slept in the sa
I got up early this morning and have been sitting here reading back over my diary entries from this time last year. I don't think anything major has changed but there have been a few subtle changes. Ray is more vague as time goes by, doesn't know what day it is , doesn't remember what he did yesterday or even sometimes this morning or even an hour ago.
I guess our autumn ( fall) with the falling leaves, declining plant growth and slowly cooling days brings on all kinds of reflective thoug
Sorry, sorry, sorry everyone for missing my caregiver chat again today. I "thought" my internet was fixed...but it only lasted about four hours! So I was off the air again. This morning ( your Tuesday night) the telco cut us off so they could re-attach the land line at the exchange, which they said was the last check they could make. So hopefully the line is as clear as a bell all the way through now! I certainly hope so as I have been four weeks without a reliable internet. I have used the
I had another call from my telco's complaint's department to say my problem has been fixed...but every ten minutes or so the lines drop out and the computer freezes and an error message comes up...so how "fixed" is my problem? I will just keep logging the drop-outs and hope that on Monday I can get onto another operator in the complaints department and...complain!
Today has been a day of frustration, maybe some Fridays are like that in whatever situation you find yourself in. There alway
Here I am, sitting at a friend's computer ( even older than mine!) writing this blog to let you know my computer is fine, Ray and I are fine but my phone line needs digging up and starting all over again. I managed to do 20 mins on a friends computer last week so was able to let Donna know I am out of action. I may be at chat this week, but it seems unlikely at this time. I'm so unhappy about all of this especially living without being able to contact all my dear friends and companions here.
I've been on this site going on for four years now. In those years I have of course grown four years older, I'm now past sixty, Ray and I had our fortieth wedding anniversary, he is now sixty six. We are not the young folk we used to be, nothing like we were in 1990 when he had his first stroke at aged forty eight. And yet, in a way, a huge part of our lives got left back there. We are part of the lost generation, those who for one reason or another were unable to fulfill their dreams, who ha
Ray and I have been very social lately. We go through periods of having invitations and some of them we accept. It does depend on the time and the place, for instance morning is better than afternoon, lunch out is better than dinner out. The venue is important too as Ray doesn't manage stairs but if there is a lift that will fit him, me and the wheelchair, no problem. This does mean some places are just not accessible to us.
This past couple of weeks we have been out to both regular happ
I went to my dementia support group today. Although they meet twice a month I only usually get to one a month, too much else to do with my Fridays after all I still have Mum to visit, shopping to do etc in the three hours I have a minder for Ray. I was pleased I went today though as one of the assistants to the mentor was doing a kind of revision on the skills needed for caregivers who help to manage the life of someone with dementia. Like Ray some of the care recipients have also had strokes
More summer storms and I had phone problems for another three days. I didn't get to chat, I couldn't check my emails. I could just scream. We only had ten days of services before another storm took the phone line out. I do have a surge protector etc so it isn't supposed to happen. I get so mad when it all goes down especially because of our situation. I do have a cell phone for emergencies but people do worry if they don't see me on line or can't contact me when they know I am home.
We h
No, this blog is not a confession, it is an observation. To illustrate a conclusion I have just come to about why we are often not getting the support we think we deserve. I am reminded of a proverb: "Old sins have long shadows".
In chat this morning the caregivers were talking about lack of family support and how one family member will often influence others in the family to keep them from supporting us. I am drawing a conclusion without much evidence here but bear with me. Before I went
When you think things cannot get worse they usually do. I think it was a build up from the period before Christmas. I had so great an expectation and although I was prepared to put in a lot of work to make Christmas Day a well run, happy day I just went over the top somewhere along the line. Afterwards I fell into a slowed-down state where nothing much was happening and I didn't particularly care. Whatever it was I was trying to achieve, it hadn't brought any sort of feeling of success or h
Hi everyone, I am feeling sad and lonely and blue and a lot of other things today. It is the big let down season after Christmas and New Year is over and before "real life" starts again. It is the time when you clean up the house, throw away the wrapping paper, find a spot for the presents you got and go back to doing mundane chores.
I have been having some trouble in relating to the people here lately. Don't get me wrong, I love Strokenet and all the wonderful people I have met here. I
'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia '
(Charles Schultz)
It is strange how much time we waste worrying about tomorrow - not necessarily the day after today - but all those days ahead of us still shrouded in mystery. I am one of the worst offenders as I am always worrying about what is to come, sometimes to the extent of spoiling my enjoyment of today. So one of my New Years resolutions will be: ENJOY TODAY.
Today is Tuesday bu
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO COME.
Well Christmas Day is past. All that shopping, cleaning, worrying that: "Will this one like this or that one like that?" is over for another year. Thank goodness. I love Christmas but the build up to it drives me crazy. I think this year everyone was pleased with their gifts and that makes life pleasanter. I hate that sigh that some people give when you give them their present or when they roll their eyes as if to say; "What IS this?
