If you were reading my blogs prior to March 2006 you would have to have been here a long time..lol. But in that period you would have read all my angst at the closing of my old church. This was more than a church building to me, it was the centre of a small community of like-minded people, a family of 25 to 30 , a place where I felt safe, welcome and to a certain degree it was also my comfort zone. The people of the church had been so supportive of Ray and I after Ray's stroke(s) that it was li
I just deleted a blog, I don't do that very often but I read it a few times and it didn't at all express what it is I wanted to say. So I slept on it and read it again this morning and it still looked all wrong so I deleted it. Wouldn't it be good if we could do that with the things that go wrong in our lives....lol.
On Wednesday an old friend rang me. She had had a visit from the son of an old neighbour on Sunday. She has looked after the neighbour, just in small ways, for a few years s
"You are so beautiful and I love you" says a soft voice. I look into his blue eyes and he takes my hand in his and gives me a loving smile. This would be wonderful if it was the man of my dreams but we are in Mum's dementia lodge and the man who is holding my hand is a resident. He was once a high ranking government official and he is doing and saying what he is because for some reason I remind him of someone he once loved. Aww geewhiz. At least someone loves me.
Not a great week this
I have a new neighbour two doors over. I said a few words to her last week, another few sentences yesterday morning. Yesterday afternoon I was dressing to go to our Lions dinner and there was a knock on the back door. There stood my new neighbour with two glasses of wine. She said she needed to talk to me desperately and it seemed she did. She is taking a course in "Caring for the Aged" and had just hit the subject of DEATH. It had really pushed all her buttons and she was a mess. She had
Sorry to the people in chat that I ran out on yesterday. I was a little distracted as I had visitors here and not just any old visitors but English visitors. I also had my sister here and I could just hear their voices from here, and not what they said so I was a little distracted and wanted to get back to them. I am sure that you all did very well without me after the first hour...lol.
The visitors had been invited, on impulse, to stay overnight. This was a big committment as I had las
Anchorites ( female - anchoress) were like hermits or enclosed monks but solitary. The anchorite/anchoress lived in an external room attached to an abbey, cathedral or large church. Their task was to have a healing presence. In exchange for food or charitable contributions they listened to the problems of all who came to their window set in the wall that faced the outside world, and agreed to pray for them for set periods of time. There was no "fee" the obligation was on the anchorite/anchor
In the 17 years since Ray's first stroke and the eight years since his major strokes in 1999 I have experienced a wide range of events. Some of them have been good, some of them not so good. All of them have had a lesson for me to learn. However much at times I have resented the changes I know that I CAN change and eventually do. A large Sydney store chain had the motto: "As I change I grow." and there is a certain amount of sense in that. Change does bring about growth and a new steadiness
It's raining again. I know half the district is rejoicing and the other half is growling. I am in the second half, two big loads of laundry almost done and down comes the rain. I usually sun dry my clothes but today they will be hung on airers and draped around the place. I don't consider that an electric clothes drier ( at a cost of about 85cents a load) is a good investment when sunlight is free, but it does need to be fine.
We went to the bladder specialist last week and discussed Ra
Sometimes as a caregiver I am so smart. Oh yes, I can do anything. And some days in my haste to do that "everything that needs doing" I do something that capitulates me into pain. There is nothing like rushing something to make you forget the principles involved in the process and down you go.
On Monday Ray had a fall. I was making breakfast when I heard a thump! I called out :"Everything ok?" a muffled voice called back: "I don't think so." Sure enough when I went in there was Ray hal
I'm going to start writing this and stop when I think I am finished. A good story should have a beginning a middle and an end. The funny thing about life is it is all "middle". Most of us don't remember the beginning, and if you are reading this you haven't got to the end yet...lol.
In April 2006 I posted my Bio, here is a link to it:
http://www.strokeboard.net/index.php?autoc...=si&img=912
I wrote it as requested by Lin and a few others. We have a lot of Survivor bios but
We had a few people in chat today and we were talking I think about severe strokes, such as Sarah's Gary had and for some reason I typed the title of this blog at the end of the sentence I was typing. I think I shocked myself when I saw it on the screen and wondered why it had popped into my mind. It could be that we have had hints of the old euthanasia campaign back on tv talk shows and I read an article in an old Readers Digest on a mother who "euthanased" her disabled son. It is a big topi
It's Sunday today. Fine, a little too hot, even the breeze is hot. Looks like summer is back again. It is the Australia Day long weekend. A few years ago our national government said we were going to celebrate on the day, January 26th, no more long weekend, this year it is a Saturday and we still have a long weekend. Ah well, it is nice for families to have a long weekend to finish the school holidays so I am not begrudging them. But I lose a day off, no Daycare for Ray to go to so tomorro
I just talked on the phone for two hours. Well, mainly I listened. It was quite a marathon as the person who rang me was quite emotional. It was a friend from years ago whose church is threatened with closure. So because he knew I went through this just on two years ago he thought I would know "ecxactly how I feel" and so he rang me. I gave a little advice, a lot of encouragement and said he could ring any time he wanted to bounce more ideas off of me. That was about the most I could do, p
Wow, it is so tiring with littlies in the house. And it has had to be in the house as we have had a very wet three days. But there is plenty to do here, Granma and Pa are really very kid friendly so we have had a great family time.
Trev generously decided to give us all his attention this weekend and the kids have loved the interaction. Wisely he has decided that if anything happens to him ( and we pray it doesn't) then the nieces and nephews will hopefully have happy memories of him. O
For those of you in the northern hemisphere the Christmas season here probably makes no sense. But picture it as if it is a combination of the summer in July and the madness in December. There is something about the Christmas season here that changes life. It is hot, dry, stormy, it is the seaside season and BBQs and camping, it is family get-togethers and end-of year functions. It is so many things to so many people. And with our mixed culture it more or less goes on till 6th January as th
We've all seen those movies where the dispatch rider comes onto the scene covered in blood from an arrow wound, gun shot blast etc. That happened here during chat. I was talking to six or more nice people when in comes Ray blood streaming from his arm, across his shirt, down his shorts. That's blood thinners for you, one small knock and it is a blood-stained version of Niagara Falls. I said "be right back" and took a moment or two to staunch the flow, put on a bandaid etc, a few minutes late
Well, I threw a tantrum and now I am allowed to chat using Trev's computer. He is sorry he is too busy right now to fix mine so said I can use his for Strokenet...Yeah! I guess I just miss all of you so much that it is affecting how I feel about life...or maybe it is just the plain ol' exhaustion from looking after Ray etc. Either way I will be able to host my normal chat next Tuesday night...so be there!
Just contemplating doing some sewing, you know that pile of..fix the pocket... sew
Hi folks and a Happy New Year to you all. New Years Day in this part of Australia is sensational. It is fine, sunny and around 95 degrees with not a cloud in the sky. We went down by the lake for morning tea with a friend and his grandsons and had a terrific couple of hours. We had a walk along the lakeshore, about a mile each way. I was pushing the wheelchair and can tell you I felt every bit of my years by the time we got back to the car. We kept getting off the path to let little girls
Hi all
Have a Happy Christmas - or do the best you can - whichever applies.
I have been off the computer as mine crashed and now at last I might see mine rebuilt, everyone was too busy prior to Christmas. Trev said to do a blog entry so all my friends here will know what is happening to us.
We had a quiet Christmas Day today. I have been aware the past month or so that Ray is not coping with noise, crowds etc. He seems to have more vagueness about him, as if he is walking about
I was just sitting here thinking about Ann, and wondering how she was doing. Ann blogged about not being bothered about decorating for Christmas this year. I wasn't focussing on Christmas much so Trev gave me a talking to and today we did a "stand and throw" decoration, nothing in the centre of the room but tinsel around windows, doorframes etc. And our usual big wreath on the front door. Not a lot of decorations but just enough so that anyone coming in knows it is Christmas. :wreath: :sant
Today was our Stroke Support group (WAGS) Christmas Party. I guess 1st December is a good time to start a Christmas season and I was ready for it. Ray and I slept in till 9am which is late for me. It was just gentle rain and overcast today so no brilliant sunshine to wake us up. Trev had to go off early too as he has an "extra" cleaning job and that will occupy his spare time in the next couple of weeks and earn him some extra money too.
The party was held in a couple of rooms in our lo
On Sunday Ray had what a lot of people describe as a "turn". He called out, when I got into the bedroom he looked like a rag doll, arms outstretched, eyes wild, he looked frightened. When I tried to get him up he had no muscle power. I managed to sit him up, then tried to stand him up as he wanted to go to the bathroom. As I got no help from him and I realised he was a dead weight I eventually sat him on the floor and he flopped back.
By this time I was panicking and so I ran around th
Ray and I just got back from the three day Camp Breakaway Camp. I had refused this offer while Ray was away in respite. I told myself that I would have already had a good break and he would have too so why would I need another? Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. With the stressful events prior to the funeral, including four days without a phone, the funeral itself and then the somewhat disapponting time at the womens weekend I DID need a break.
I had gotten to breaking point I thin
It is so frustrating when it seems like it is never OUR turn to be given a break (literally AND figuratively). I guess it is so true that nothing lasts forever though, good or bad. All we can do is feel each moment of life- cherish the good in it, no matter how frustrating- and remember for better or worse this day will be a memory before we know it.
Thank you to the kind person who send me this email. She never thinks she is wise but her email closing with this paragraph certainly put li
Just got back on the air again. No, it wasn't my computer this time, it was my phone line. Someone dug up the cable and we went off the air for four days. Another of the little bumps on my way to Peaceful Street.
This has been one of those muddled weeks as all my planned working on the house etc went haywire. It is as if some gremlins crept in and re-arranged life again. None of the people I had lined up could do any work for at least another couple of weeks. I guess this is down to t
