Well, the holiday is over for me, and work starts again with Ray back home again. The Tuesday shower nurse has come and gone and Ray went straight out to sit on the verandah. All is well in his world when he is out there doing his word puzzles. I guess it is the one thing he really misses when he is away from home.
Yesterday I finished putting up the last of the Christmas decorations before going and picking him up. As usual the bag was only half packed, clean clothes among the dirty one
It has been strange being at home without Ray. At first I couldn't relax at all, I felt as if I should be "up and doing" every day. After all time is precious and I don't usually have a lot of it. But this week I am begining to relax and wind-down a bit. I decide at the beginning of the day what I am going to do, divide that by two and start on the list. If the jobs don't get done I put them on tomorrow's list. I guess that is about as relaxed as I get. Maybe just maybe I have become the c
In the past week, with Ray in respite I have been supposedly having a rest from my caring role. but it has not worked out that way. My Uncle Don in Canada passed away and I have been emailing people on his email list with the news plus ringing people here whose lives he had touched as part of his many visits here. Over the past thirty or so years he came out on a visit to Mum and Dad, and then to us every second year or so and stayed 6 - 8 weeks each time so he touched a lot of lives.
Al
Each time I go to visit my Mum I drive past a church bulletin board. This week's message reads:"Courage gives us the power to let go of the familiar." Now there is food for thought.
Ray went into respite on Monday for two weeks. I hate to do that this time of the year, there is so much on and I can't really use the time off to go away or have a break. I am transport for a few of the church ladies and would feel I was letting them down if I suddenly couldn't take them to meetings etc. A
I don't write about my Mum much, just to say in passing that I have visited her or she is this or that. In a way the subject is just too emotional for me. I can visit twice a week and hold her hand and hug her and walk by her side but I keep myself from crying in front of her which is what I WANT to do all the time.
My Mum was a wonderful woman, a warm tender person in some ways but a feisty fighter in others. She was brought up mostly by her mother as her father was absent most of her g
I wrote my last blog about being "BACK!!" and our internet connection went down again, or so we thought. It seems Trev's new modem keeps getting "lost" by his computer so you have to put the disc back in and connect it again. Then you are up and running for a while! I guess there is a basic incompatibilty there somewhere so for now we will do it manually and maybe find a workaround. It is a bit like getting stuck in the mud though.
We've also had a series of storms the past few days so
Trev has one computer up and running, HIS, but he has loaded flashplayer and I am allowed to use his computer to do chat. So "I"M BACK"!!! Well, that is the good news for tonight anyway.
Ray and I have just been out to a Christmas/end-of year do. Our old friends from Apex40 were a fairly rowdy mob tonight, but we love them dearly. We joined this group 23 years ago so we know most of the members well. Some of course don't respond to us as easily now and there is some awkwardness in that
I wrote a blog straight from the heart last night, typed my emotions onto the blank screen and then lost the lot. Trev has my computer almost up and running, well running slowly. I need a new filter now, we replaced the modem that took the brunt of a lightning strike on the transmission box at the corner of our street during a mighty thunderstorm a week ago. Trev was in the middle of rebuilding his computer at the time and the surge that resulted from the strike killed off that tower. He bou
Today has been a day of frustration. I feel as if I am walking in glue and not getting very far. I know we all have days like this but why is it happening to ME!!!!
Ray's new medication is giving him diarrhoea. He is supposed to settle down "soon" so the pharmacist told me. It is an "initial reaction". It is also a nuisance as I did laundry every day this week! Luckily the weather is warmer now and it has been fine with a nice afternoon breeze to waft through the clothes. I bring the
What a pleasure it was to have guests from Oklahoma City. Trev and I picked up Babs and Eddie on Friday around noon from the Visitors Centre in the heart of Sydney. She and I recognised each other immediately and Eddie stood by with a real grin on his face as we hugged each other enthusiastically on the pavement. We had a drive around some of the shoreline trying to get glimpses of the Harbour as we went. Trev got pulled over by a policeman ( long story) so he is not happy about that but it
Hi there my friends, I've misssed you all. Ray and Trev and I have been to Queensland as planned. It was not too bad, a few awkward moments, because of Ray's dementia, because of my focus on Ray, because of the generation gap and different expectations, but on the whole not too bad. It all went pretty smoothly with Trev and I sharing the driving.
Although we went to two motels we had been to before the accommodation was NOT disabled friendly and that made it very awkward. But we managed
Just got back from Camp Breakaway and I must say it was duller than usual. I guess the rain and gale force winds had a lot to do with that. All the walks and outdoor games and a picnic on the lawns planned for yesterday had to be abandoned. And would you believe that today the sun was shining, the sky was blue and we all headed for home.
The dementia camp is not as jolly as the usual Frail Aged Camps as the "clients" are less able to participate. So we had quiet days and just the entert
Well, what a huge task that was. It seems as if last week I made plans for every day but all aspects changed as I went along. But looking back it was all for the good. It just proves that in the end it is perseverance that wins.
I had such trouble with my old computer when the chat rooms changed. It coped all right with the old chat but the new chat was way beyond it's league! I could get into chat at first but the screen kept freezing and I would be five sentences behind everyone else.
Sorry folks but my old computer doesn't like the new chat set up and won't let me in. So for now someone else will do it for me. I will be updating my computer though when I get back from my two little breaks so I will be back hosting again. I will miss chat as it has been a big part of my day.
Next week we are going to Camp Breakaway, it is only a short break, Tuesday lunchtime till Friday morning, but for me it is other people to talk to, others preparing meals and Ray still gets show
When the shower nurse comes to shower Ray on Thursdays and put him through his exercises I go down to visit my friend who is having chemo for her cancer and we have a cup of coffee together. She only lives just down the street so I can walk there in five minutes. We laugh and joke, share family stories ( I knew her sisters and some of her nieces I went to school with) and so it is a very pleasant hour. Despite a fairly grim prognosis she is just taking each day as it comes and trying to live a
If I'm not in chat at the right time this week blame the powers that be here in Australia for deciding we'd change to Daylight saving the first weekend instead of the last weekend in October. Don't ask me why. It seems we have too many changes on a whim and without a good reason these days. I didn't even realise we were changing the clocks until I was watching the late news last night. As that finished at 11.30pm it meant it was already after mid-night when I changed the time on the clocks e
We just had our northern kids and grandkids here for four days. All last week I did extra jobs to make sure the house and yard looked as good as I could make it look. It was a HUGE effort. I was pretty tired by the time they came here but Oh so glad to see them. I do miss them all so much and although we see each other at least twice a year it is not the same as when they lived two suburbs away.
My daughter and son-in-law have a big job running a Salvation Army Corps in a large Queensla
I am not the only one here who has trouble accepting changes, Ray with his dementia is not able to change his thinking and so we had a chain of events happen today that was to do with that.
As you know I had a new built-in closet ordered and it was mostly built by the time Ray got back home after three weeks in hospital. He doesn't process much information now (dementia) and so I have made a point of taking him through where all his clothes are now etc. So it surprised me that the carer
I went to Wyong TAFE college to get my "Statement of Attendence" for the course I have just done on "Carer Connections". The staff were very pleased with us all as it was the first course and we were the guinea pigs. The information we have provided will be used to restructure the course and make it more focussed. It is nice to know we have made a valueable contribution to the training of future carers.
While the teacher was giving her speech she referred to a popular television series o
Ray and I went on a bus trip today. I thought it would be okay as it was with the church oldies ( youngest my age, oldest 93) and only for five hours so I figured Ray could last that long. The day started badly with an "accident" but not a huge clean-up so I was still okay, Ray was okay, my temper was intact. Ray was "hurrying" as best he could as he knew we were going out for the day.
I did prepare some thickened drink for Ray, enough for two drinks, found an old thermos flask, a tall c
I am not happy right now. Life has changed again and I am not coping with it. It is for all kinds of reasons. For example: Ray has always had "wife deafness" but now that seems to have really cut into our time. I say to Ray: "We need to go out so will you go to the toilet please." I then move off to do something else, come back, Ray is still in the chair. So I restate, he looks at me and looks back at his puzzle book. He has no understanding of the time factor or the need to make one mo
He's back home at last. Ray should have come home yesterday but there was a delay in processing some of the tests so he came home today instead. He is now asleep on our pull-out sofa bed. Allan is still working noisily in the bedroom on putting the shelves into the built in wardrobe so I thought the lounge bed was a better idea as it is quieter in there.
I think just coming home in the car was excitement enough for Ray on his first day so I put in an apology for both of us for craft gro
I went to see Ray in hospital today and had the original heart specialist drop by. As team leader he has the say and so he told me he was discharging Ray on Monday if that was okay with me. He also said there really were no answers to what was wrong with him after all their investigations so they had decided to put him back on his old medications and send a letter to his treating doctor informing him of all that had been done.
The nurse that came in after the doctors said she thought it w
The last few nights have been really bad for me for some reason. Maybe the anxiety which I bury quite firmly during the day comes to the surface at night when my will is no longer strong enough to defeat it. I try not to lay there going over the problems of the day, I try to pray and meditate and bring positive thoughts back into my mind but it is not easy.
I had a friend who lived to be 102, when she was about 95 she discovered that being a light sleeper and waking up in the wee small ho
Ray is still in hospital. He has almost fully recovered from the pneumonia but is still awaiting further investigation of his anemia and also waiting for an EEG which may show that he is having fits now. I know these things need to be investigated but this is turning into a very long stay to fix up a few seemingly minor problems. As a Disabled Pensioner Ray is entitled to have a free hospital stay when he needs to so it is not the money it is the fact that he is not doing any exercise etc an
