I have not long got back from my WAGS Womens Weekend Away where I spent the weekend with 20 wonderful women, 21 there counting me. It was at a motel complex just down from where my son lives. I thought it would not be very glamourous but instead it was marvellous. Once inside the resort area there were green lawns and pergolas and a pool and little balconies with golden cane palms and for almost the middle of a small city it could have been deep in the country. The rooms were adequate, we we
Having time to yourself is a bad idea for me. Because I start to think about all sorts of things. When Ray is here I am too busy to think and so I just live minute-to-minute, day-to-day as all full-time caregivers do. I am including here all who caregive someone who lives with them and sometimes lives close by as a good friend cares for her mum and lives with her husband and runs two households instead of one, that woman NEVER sleeps.
I was talking to a friend on the phone last night and
Anyone who is a Granma will recognise this saying. It is the greeting of a two year old very early in the morning. I have just had four days down with my Sydney family and enjoyed it immensely. You may remember how scared I was the first time I went down there? Now it is soooo easy. Just a bus and two trains and there are two hills to walk up and there I am. It is still a little steep dragging my suitcase on wheels but I can do it.
The Sydney family is still adapting to the news that
I have been up since 6am, that would have been 5am yesterday. I got up early because I was afraid if I stayed in bed I would go back to sleep. Church time was changed too, back half an hour to 9am as there was a farewell for a retired minister who has been helping out, mainly with elder care, visiting nursing homes and retirement villages of which we have several in our parish. I know he will be missed as all ministers bring a different flavour to the service.
Ray and I stayed on to th
I have just found a new reason to vent. Ray is in his 65th year, that is he will turn 65 in September 2007. So I am starting on all those preparatory steps towards him turning from a disability pensioner to an old aged pensioner. This is a mine field as if I don't claim all he is entitled to we may have an impoverished old age.
We took out all our insurances etc was when we had our first house, a young family and looked at insurance as funding our old age and providing for all those thing
In Oz we call a guy who keeps saying he will do something and doesn't "Gunna" as a nickname.
A friend passed me a joke recently: "There once were two brothers. The father called them together and asked what plans they had for the future. The older son was quiet for the moment. The younger son said: "Gunna plant wheat in that top paddock Pa." the older brother said: "Dunnit." The younger brother said: "Gunna put an order in for the new tractor Pa." the older brother said:"Dunnit." The
I had two phone calls tonight. To each of the callers I made the statement :"Ray has had five strokes so he needs me to answer for him." In the first instance I got a very terse reply and the caller hung up. As this one was from our life insurance company and was supposed to give me a run-down on options for the cashing in of one of Ray's policies she is going to have me complain to her supervisor tomorrow.
I am sick of explaining that Ray had had five strokes so therefore he can't - un
Our grandson Christopher came for four days and we had lots of fun, three visits to local beaches, a cousins day with Tori , a visit to a local hospital fete, and today a visit from his Mum and Dad and sister, who came this afternoon to take him home.
I must admit although it was very fun and very stimulating at my age and with my other commitments it was rather tiring too. With someone else besides Ray and Trev in the house I was super aware of the dangers such as medication left lying ar
Well what a day it has been. I don't know why I can't just order a peaceful day. I have some exciting, annoying, difficult to swallow news and I am not allowed to talk about it for a couple of days. It is about where my Sydney family is being posted to and it is just so far away it might as well be the other side of the planet. For them it a wonderful move. If I was their age it would be for me.I would just be so pleased.
They are going up north to a small city. It is warm, it is scen
Ray and I went to WAGS today, to a big room where the sound echoed. But the air conditioning was spot on and the circle of tables held 48 people, all of whom seemed glad to be there. This was only my third meeting so I am still struggling to fit names to faces, carers to survivors etc. But Ray is greeted by the Scallywags menfolk with waves and smiles and the cry:"Ho, Ray." And his smile is a mile wide.
We had a break to wait for a guest speaker who didn't turn up so we got some chatting
I took Ray to see the dietician this morning. Our appointment was rebooked from 12.30pm to 9am so I asked Bonnie to look after the start of Tuesday night Caregiver Chat for me, and that was just as well as the dietician was 20 minutes late starting the appointment. After an hour she concluded there is not a lot she can help us with. I think our diet is pretty spot on apart from Ray having secret caches of sugary food somewhere or overindulging at craft afternoon teas. I was brought up to Eng
I just read Heather's entry about not getting anxious for one day. I remember I felt that in the first twelve months after Ray's strokes. I felt as if I lost control every time even the most minor event happened, an appointment changed, a delay of some kind. Visits from therapists could send a ripple through the day. Their advice seemed to dominate our life, changing it forever. It is not like that now.
I had a reply from Sherri that said she has accepted the new norm ( or words to that
It has been a busy day in a busy week for me. I went to three different types of support group today. In the morning I went to a meeting of carers, in the afternoon Ray and I went to a funeral and tonight Ray and I went to a dinner meeting we have been going to on and off, once a month, for about 22 years.
The support group I went to this morning was rather odd. At first there were only five people there plus two social workers. Then two more people came half way through the meeting. I h
I am finding some disappointments in life in my forward planning. Because forward planning has always been one of the joys of my life. I was the kind of person who had goals, who looked ahead to well-planned holidays with all the right clothes packed. Who could tell you the date of Easter and all the long weekends in the year and what I hoped to do on any of them.
All my childhood I looked forward to weekends, those wonderful two days with no school, when the world was open to do whateve
I enjoyed chat this morning, Wednesday for me,Tuesday night your time. It was good that there were a mixture of survivors and caregivers that came along. We are here to help each other. The caregivers can tell the story from their side, the hardships of changed finances, the burden of constant care, the great feeling that your survivor is just that a SURVIVOR and you can be happy he/she is still with you. The survivors help the caregivers to round out the picture, what if feels like to be a s
This has been another week of getting used to what will happen when Ray changes over to insulin. I know a few people are dealing with insulin dependent survivors right now and probably wonder what I am making a fuss about. But for me it is a big deal. I know it will be for Ray too but I will be the one testing his sugar and working out the dosage and giving him the insulin. And to me, with no nursing background, it does seem like a big responsibility. So I am finding out as much as I can ab
Wow! I was so surprised when I got up this morning and logged on to Strokenet and my log-in was wrong! What is this! I can't log in, oh no! But it wasn't bad news and once I had accessed my messages on Hotmail, there was the reason. I had been accepted as a chat host on Strokenet. So followed instructions, changed my password and became a new person - hostsue.
During my lifetime I have been a lot of things. I started my first voluntary job at 16 as the secretary of Ourimbah Teen Club.
Yesterday I was still in a bad mood. Things had gone from bad to worse. I had tried to brighten up for Ray's birthday. I had decided we would do a few things in the morning including going to the doctor and going out to breakfast. Maybe we should have had the breakfast first! Instead we went to the doctor first, he read all the reports but still did not have the recommendation from the kidney specialist so we have to go again same time next week. He was disappointed when I told him that the
I have borrowed one of Sarah's (spacie1) sayings for my title. I have just been chatting with her and I know Gary is so much worse than Ray and yet I was pouring out my troubles to her as if she hasn't got enough of her own without the burden of mine. But I sure need to tell someone exactly how life is for me somedays, without the sugar coating, without the :"I'm fine thanks and how are you?" and without the blank look that comes over a non-caregiver's face when you tell them the trials you face
Today was a day with some difficulties. We started it early as we had to be in at the Nephrologist's( not Urologist's and a Professor at that) at 7.45am to see him at 8am. This meant a 6am start.
I had a tummy ache all night from eating the wrong foods. I know, I know I am a big girl and should know better but it didn't occur to me that the topping on the fruit pie slice for dessert would be coconut until I had eaten it. Palm oil and I don't get on so I was here at 2.30am my time waitin
Most times I plod along from day to day. Like most people I do my best. That's about all your average caregiver can do. I am not rich, or beautiful or clever. I am just your average middle aged woman. I am plain and kind and reasonably good. Not outstanding in any way, shape or form.
But we all excel sometimes. We are cited for awards of various kinds, from certificates in kindergarten to doctorates in University. We may be praised by our bosses, awarded by the community for acts of
"Spring, Spring,
the bird is on the wing!
How absurd,
I thought the wing was on the bird!"
If I knew who wrote that piece of nonsense verse I would give them credit for it. It is just one of the many attachments in my memory to the word Spring.
It is officially the first day of Spring today. It is going to be warm and sunny the weather forecasters tell us. It may go back to being wet, cold and miserable by the end of the weekend, but today is going to be fine and sunny. Which
Last time I took a few days off a few people were worried about me. Now isn't that wonderful? It is good to know I have friends in cyberspace who like to know where I am.
Well, I will be missing for a couple of days this week. Ray is off to Camp Breakaway, I think he must be one of the people they ring if they have a cancellation. I am always happy when he gets a chance to go and he is excited too as this time one of the men who go to Scallywags will be there too. Imagine being provided
Ongoing life sometimes gets me down. The medical blahs occupied most of this week . There were some lighter moments as we had a trip to a bigger shopping centre after picking up the ultrasound results on Thursday and on Friday when Ray went to Scallywags I went out to lunch with a dozen people from our old church. It was good to catch up all their news and gossip and even though only half of us were there we each had some news of the others. I am still not feeling at home in our new parish
I am so sick of taking Ray to appointments. I have been doing it for seven years now. At first after the 1999 strokes it was months of driving 35 minutes away a couple of days a week for physiotherapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, the appointments were no necessarily consecutive so we would be away most of the day. Then there were doctors' appointments, specialists' appointments, MRIs etc. Then it was general check-ups, xrays etc to determine if he could have physio on certain areas
