I've just replied to a worried caregiver who is feeling guilty that she is taking a break while her husband goes off with other family members. Ray has just been for his second three day break in a month, a never before experienced event. I planned both my breaks so I had some ME time. And we both reap the benefit of that. Ray comes home from a break where he has had a lot of good food, entertainment, company, to a much rested caregiver.
On my first break I visited a friend for lunch, l
A year ago on the 30th May was when I came here. Ray had a stroke on 20th May, only the staff at the hospital said it wasn't a stroke and sent us home at 3am on 21st. I knew it was a stroke, the MRI proved it was a stroke but when Ray and I came home on 21st May 2005 all I knew was that he was weaker than usual, slower than usual and couldn't sit up or stand up without help. Unfortunately after you have had four strokes stroke number five is hard to identify.
When you go into Accident an
I have not had a lot of times in my life when I have felt as if I couldn't help someone. Even when I was a small kid I was a trier. It used to amuse Dad that I would come up to a log that he had cut,when he was cutting timber in the woods in England and try with all my strength to lift it up and put it in the pile. I would even drag it a little way to show that I could do it. I guess that is why when he was building a couple of extensions to places we lived in he used to call on me to help h
I did voluntary telephone counselling for eight years, usually once a week for a six hour session. I also was a trainer for five out of the eight years. This meant that I interacted with a lot of people, callers, other staff, fellow counsellors, the newbie counsellors as I helped to train them. Being a student of human nature I found it fascinating that sometimes the counsellors were more needy than the callers. We all were trained and then let loose on the phones. Serious problems were refer
"Sardonic
French sardonique, from Greek sardonios (meaning "of bitter or scornful laughter"), by influence of Sardonios - the Greeks believed that eating a certain plant they called sardonion ("plant from Sardinia") caused facial convulsions resembling those of sardonic laughter, usually followed by death.
Scornfully mocking or cynical.
Disdainfully or ironically humorous. " thanks to the Wikidictionary.
Some of the humour I use as a caregiver and as an Australian woman is sar
Two out of three days gone already. Ray went off to Camp Breakaway on Tuesday morning and I waved him goodbye thinking about all I would get done while he was away. Well, fortunately I came to my senses. This is MY time, not time to catch up on housework, cooking, cleaning or sewing. This is my time to do the things I want to do, right?
Big problem. If someone asks me: "What do you WANT to do Sue?" I don't really know what to say. After all for the last seven years I have mostly just
When I was working, before I was married, the corporation I worked for had a social committee and we used to go to Sydney to a meal and a show. We saw some wonderful productions of shows like "Funny Girl", "Hello Dolly" and "My Fair Lady".
One of the plays I saw was called :"THe Russians are coming!!" The play was based on a rumour that in the 1880's the Russian fleet was on the move and was in the Indian Ocean headed our way. The entrance to Sydney Harbour was a significant place, the go
Wow, I hardly know where to start but I thought as I have some good news I would share it.
Ray goes to Camp Breakaway twice a year, usually about March and then in October. He goes from 9.30am Tuesdays till 10.30am Friday. He is picked up in a little community bus and dropped home again. This is to give me a break and give him a mini holiday. We pay $200 for this and there is money raised from other funds plus government subsidies that make it up to whatever it costs to run. This is oka
It's a Sunday thing. Being reflective, waxing philosophical, whatever you like to call it. It has been an odd week. I have had interaction with people this week I haven't seen for a while. For that reason I have been explaining where Ray is up to and updating people on his progress or regress on certain fronts.
There was a topic some time back that raised the issue of having to explain a stroke, from a survivors point of view and I often take things said here quite seriously, so I try n
Some days are very strange, they look quite ordinary from the outside but surreal on the inside, like standing in a room filled with psychodaelic colours, as we did once in an exhibition hall.I know this isn't what happened that I am reflecting on now, but what I felt happened today.
We had an appointment this morning to see Ray's neurologist. This is the check-up six months after I was told to "make the most of the next six months". I never knew what to make of that statement and as Ray h
Ray had his stroke anniversary on April 19th. This is not the anniversary of his first major stroke. He had one on December 9th 1990, had six months of intensive rehab and went back to work. That was a real stroke, but he got over it. It left him with anaesthesia down the left hand side of the body, slurred speech and an inability to think when he was tired and overwhelming fatigue that meant he dropped into a chair and slept as soon as he got home of a night and slept most of the weekend.
All you who read this blog know that I have trouble with change. Not the little changes that meet us every day like biscuit mix moving from aisle 2 to aisle 4 but the changes that make the scenery of our lives look like slowly falling dominoes. One , two , three four changes and I quiver, five, six, seven and I fall. Well I think I am about at number four again.
Today we had the reunion lunch of our little church group, exactly a month after the closure. We all gathered for a bring your
Most of my chatting time with other women comes by phone. I can't go to the coffee shop or out to lunch by myself, Ray always has to come too so the talk is always general and not that kind of talk women get into to problem solve. Over the last few nights I have had phone calls from real time friends not seeking advice but using me as a wall to bounce information off. Discussing problems in this way is good if the problems aren't too big and at the end you might not have the answer but you hav
I have just been on the phone for an hour and a half with a friend who was recently widowed on the other end. Her husband died eight days ago and was buried on Friday, the visitors left today and she was ready to be debriefed. I don't mind as I am trained in this sort of thing and she is a good friend.
What worried me most about what she had to say was a statement that she has always "just followed along" behind her husband. That although she has had what others would see as a career she
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
Happy Century blog here. :music_band:
I know I always have something to say on every topic now, but I have not always been like that. I once got a commendation for being a "quiet achiever".. Some of us are like that..... we sit quietly for years...the little wife and mother, raising the kids, cooking for the socials, turning up to help out at school, at church, wherever there is a need. Ask me a question once and I might have answered in a few sentences,
I want an unbusy day. I seem to have less time as I get older. I know this is a common complaint. I heard it all the time from my church oldies. How did I ever fit work into the equation? There certainly is no time for that now. Of course doing the inside and outside work does mean I work on something seven days a week, alternating inside and out. My son says if I got rid of all the potplants that would make a difference but they are one of the things that keeps me sane.
Today I had m
I guess it is hard for us, wherever we are on the globe, to put ourselves in someone else's shoes. We do that here on this site with somewhat mixed results. I post or blog something then someone else adds a reply. I think:"Where the hell did they get that connection from what I wrote?" I think it is the filters we all see through. I look at your life through the filtered experiences of my own life. So when you say "pie" I think " blackberry" and you might be thinking "apple". It makes commu
I thought I would do one more blog about the Stroke Ed group before it fades into unreality again. At the meetings we got quite a lot of hand-outs. No wonder we don't have trees around now, we have hand-outs instead. Government agencies are particularly good at hand-outs, it saves them doing the hands-on work.
I just had a look at the "Carer's Strategies for Coping" It has all the usual stuff in it.
I. Take one day at a time
2. Recognise small successes. [We say that a lot to
I have been thinking about secrets. Hard not to with Pam's posting to think about. My life has always been an open book. If people want to ask me a question usually I give them an answer. This does not always apply to bodily functions. How I hate the question:"Have we opened our bowels today?" that you get from sweet faced nurses after operations. Of which I have had several. The answer is usually:"I have, how about you?"
Yesterday we went to the "new" church Ray and I will be going
"Congratulations Mrs *W* you are our grand prize winner for today. You just won yourself a trip to the Bahamas" so said some enthusiastic American voice at the end of my phone line. She was less than enthusiastic when I told her I had an invalid husband, no money to fly anywhere right now, and no time to listen to her spiel. Well lucky me, on a Carers Pension, with a husband who's had five strokes, living on the East Coast of Australia and they are giving me a holiday in the Bahamas!!!! Just w
This isn't about how to be a good carer - it is about the differences that show up in disasters.
We have just had a cyclone up in northern Queensland, right in the middle of our sugar cane and banana belt. The damage has yet to be assessed but already there is talk of billions of dollars. Not in compensation but in lost income and assets. So far no reported loss of life but who knows? It is never reported how many people have strokes, heart attacks, commit suicide or die younger than th
I think of my first introduction to life's troubles, was when I was about eight years of age. The death of a really special person in my small world. That is the one outstanding traumatic event in my primary years.
I had a good friend called Jenny, she wasn't a personal "best friend" I had one of those too, a friend called Jean who I am still friendly with after 50 years. Jenny was a wit of note, at 8 years of age she was smart mouthed, clever, exceedingly academic and not bad at athleti
Don't know if you ever played a game where you had to complete proverbs? I used to play it as an icebreaker when I was a Tupperware lady over a period of eight years.
It goes something like this. 'I am going to give you the first half of a proverb and I want you to complete it for me. Ready?"The grass is always greener....?"Lady eager to win the first prize:"when you mow the lawn?" Lady next to her:"when you water the lawn?" This is a good place to stop and give them both a prize. Bec
"HI everyone. Boy have we got a full program today. Here are the highlights. Now, how would you like to tell us about your week?"
So started today's Stroke Ed group meeting. Exciting eh?
Then we run through the program a step-at-a- time. Some of it is quite good, quite interesting, quite well-balanced. But it is all words, words, words. I for one feel as if nothing goes into the program that will actually help. When the stroke survivors or caregivers are giving imput the caring
I don't praise my sister very often but I do praise her for what she did today, she saved me money on a washing machine. Here we bargain shop as you probably do by looking for the best price. You start at one of the upmarket stores to get a basic price, go round the corner and ask their price and then go to where you think you might get the cheapest price. So we did that and the cheapest place salesman said:"Yes, we can meet that price." And she said;"Is that all?" And he said:"NO we can go
