Lookit, if you aren't into reading a rant and rave from a PMSing survivor, then don't read any further.
I just read Jean's blog again regarding the woman she ran into that was looking for justification in divorcing her husband. I find her attitude insulting. Not just insulting because I am coming down on the survivor side, but what about the spouses or caregivers that stay and schlepp in the trenches 24/7? Aren't any of them insulted too?
I know why I am ready to stone this unknown wom
Well history is being made, my first blog entry. It is 10 a.m. and I am showered and dressed. Wonders never cease! Well really we are refinancing our mortgage and today is the closing, so I had no choice but to be on the ball today.
Once we refinance, I'll get a line of credit to renovate our small barn in our backyard into a small little house for me. I'm excited about renovating and designing and decorating the barn. It is a whole new life and chapter. I'm looking forward to it. Actually I'm
ok, today started out pretty bad. I was laying on my back, mouth open, snoring away happily when I got tag teamed. "The boys" decided mom had slept long enough. "The Boys" consist of one bad seed Pomeranian and two cats. The cats had an ulterior motive, they wanted to be fed. The Pom was just being him. He was gently licking my eyelids with that cold nose and slobby tongue. The tongue I belatedly remembered had been happily licking the guts of a dead rodent the day before or the yellow labs pr
I don't have anything to blog about specifically.I'm sure something will pour out of me. I feel like I am on a even keel emotionally and mentally. That is some progress.... I've gotten beyond the spouse and the neighbor. I'm convinced she will be my revenge. Ha! sick way to look at something and deal with it, but that is how I work.
The other afternoon the Ty clone was here, he gave me his business card with cell phone number.... yeah, like I'll ever use that or need it. Mr. clean came in and
Well, yes today has been a marathon and it isn't 1 P.M. yet. I have to admit that though productive marathon errand filled days are few and far between these days. I still acknowledge when I have one.
I got up at 6 a.m.
Had a few cups of coffee, let the dog out, seperated the laundry, stripped the bed. Sat down and wrotew out bills, left at 10a.m. put my laundry in the machines, booked out of there, went to the phone company, paid my bill, made a copy of a letter, left there went to the pos
Has anyone else noticed the same thing as I have this morning? How do you see the passage of time? In minute units or in hours or you haven't got a clue?
As a kid I told time by the old fashioned type clock. We didn't have the time on microwaves, the computer or digital clocks. I didn't think of time in minute units, I thought of time in five minute units, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, ect.....
Ha!
Yeah I needed something to blog about today, can you tell? I was at the end of page two, teet
Well I rejected the entire seperation agreement on Friday morning. My lawyer has advised me to go in a window of the house and change the locks since it is sitting empty. So that is in the wind, except my body won't be doing any breaking and entering.... that is easier said then done. I can't figure out a way with one functioning arm to climb in a window, let alone be ablle to open the old fashioned windows that are on the house. I need to know a few burgalars to give me some how to tips. Or bet
Last night Easter eggs got colored at our house. It is a mindless enjoyable task. A chance for thoughts to drift in and out. Now I was in rehab for that easter the year of my stroke. It was important to me that I still color eggs with my kids, important that nothing changed in our traditions. So OT let me color eggs with the kids, I hid them in my room on Easter for the the kids to find. Actually I hid them twice because my friend Mike came wheeling into my room, took one look around and sarcast
No wonder I want a divorce! It amazes me everytime the point is driven home, that I actually at one time stood in a chapel, knees shaking, heart pounding from excitement that I was about to marry this man I now can't wait to shed. It is hard to hold on to newfound understandings of my feelings. I am different now, true the stroke changed me. But I feel that every time I have a lightbulb moment where the light shines into the dark recesses of my mind and I see something for how it is now. I nee
On my last blog, EdDurang said "Till death do us part or until somebody better comes along" Bitter and cynical, yes it is. But how true. In the realm of being single and almost divorced, I can relate to that. Somebody new. Hmmmmm, I need to examine whats so special about someone new.
Having someone new opens one up to a whole new experience. A chance to learn new things. An opportunity to adopt a whole new outlook on how to deal with daily life.
The downside to someone new, is of course the
I took yesterday off, told myself I would finish cleaning today. Don't feel like it. It isn't as if the apartment is that big..... just uninspired I guess. Plus" the boys"( Stockings the cat and Petey the Pomeranian) they don't want to hear the vaccume, don't have to tell me twice. I may just take a page out of their book and lay on the sofa and snooze and watch tv.
Pam
I woke up this morning, the sun is shining and my headache is gone. I also made a decision that I will take the apartment in the victorian too. I have this endless mental list going on, because of setting up a new household, there are so many things I need to buy. I'm getting itchy to get going, because shopping and packing will not be an option for me in the same week. I have to plan around the energy level. One good thing is I don't have to paint the new place. It is all freshly painted a sof
Yup day before Christmas and I'm slumming. I am having a bad day.Lots of dark thoughts and I even went and dug the bodies up, they didn't stay buried long enough.
My daughter was over this morning for a whopping 45 minutes, we went outside and she was sliding down the icey snow covered hill on her butt. I was doing my mommy thing and dutifully watching, and clapping and cheering her on and it hit me. I'm missing so much of her daily life. But sometimes it can't be helped and whether I live 800
Well lets all give a big hand to the design team. The newest model is ready to be on the market. But remember this is a new untested model, there may need to be some tweaking done here and there.
That is just the endless chatter I have in my head at the moment regarding myself. Yes, I've been undergoing some soul searching and re-evaluating my life. So what it all boils down to is an Ala Carte menu, my choices of personality traits I like or loathe. And I need to thank the three people who hav
Last night we started moving some stuff into the apartment, I have a key now. We unrolled the new carpet I had bought, moved the bed in and a few other smalls and bags from shopping. The small round dining table fits perfectly in the bay window alcove, I can't wait to hang the curtians.....
My daughter was with us and she passed the apartment on the approval score, so did the spouse. I have way to much stuff already, I can see it filling up and getting cluttered, got to get into downsizing m
Well if you judge what my entry will based n the title.... No, I did not have a different partner in my bed this morning. And no, I did not have a hangover. Although the second could have easily been the reason. I did try a new shot last night called a "backslide", I only had one shot as it was potent stuff.But it tasted good and didn't cause me to shiver or grimace on its way down my throat. I can remember doing pitchers of Alabama Slammers and every shot I swallowed made me shiver. Backslides
WARNING!!! This will probably be a whiny pathetic entry, leave while you still can!
I am bored, restless and lonely. I keep waiting for the warm fuzzy feelings of being on my own to settle in. They haven't shown up yet, I'm still waiting. I feel the loss of living in a rural area and not being able to drive. Yesterday marked the passage of three weeks that I've been living here and I went grocery shopping on Friday. That was the first time I had been out of the apartment in three weeks.
I
I needed a subject to blog about and the past is the only thing I could come up with. The past is on my mind. More specifically someone from the past; someone I once dated. It was twenty plus years ago and I dumped him for some infraction I don't even recall the details of. He is a few years younger then me.
My older brother ran into him a few weeks back. Seems he had a brain tumor removed from his brain and he inquired after me, my brother told him about my Aneurysm and stroke.... he gives m
I woke up at 5 a.m. this morning. As I walked by the kitchen window that faces west, and it had snowed! The snow sparkled and glistened in the glow of the flood light that lights the parking lot. I paused for a few seconds to soak up the feeling of the season's first snow, holding off on pushing the button on the coffee pot.
It seems no matter how old I get, the sight of the first snow is a beautiful thing. All the trees are redressed in white, their forms outlined sharply against the backgro
So Sunday is Easter. I prefer to think of Easter as cute cuddly bunnies, colored eggs and candy. Yeah so what if it is a holiday that the greeting card industry has created? It is better thenall the religion BS. Now, just for the record, I had a christian upbringing. I earned my own bible at church as a kid. My parents forced me to go every sunday to sunday school, they never stepped foot mind you in a church. I always thought it was so hypocritical of them. They always told me when I was old e
Today at 10a.m. the heating system guy was here. My head is swirling with facts of Propane vs. fuel oil. Not only that I also have to remember it is a small tiny little space I am working with. I have it in my head how I want the layout to be, the other half has his vision. These visions are not one and the same, not even close. I am trying to design it with my living in it alone, disabled, he is designing it with the speed of a slow day at a McDonald's drive thru in mind. He wants to get it
I'm sitting here, staring. I'm so tired right now, I can't think of a thing to write about. I may go grill a cheeseburger on the grill in a few minutes. I made that for last nights dinner with a nice toss salad with Balsamic Vinigrette dressing and a glass of Sangria and I watched the sun set over the mountians. I enjoyed my dinner, it beats bottled water and a banana that I have been eating for dinner. I didn't buy any bananas this week, I am sick of them. Three months of eating a banana every
Yesterday I was up in Albany. Albany is the capitol of NY state, so it is a city in a way. We were on a side street stopped at a lred light. On the sidewalk directly outside my window were 2 teen boys. You all will recognize the type of boys they were. One was overweight, "soft, could tell never had much excersise and he was young and smaller in stature then the other one. The other one was bigger, stronger, had a very strong athelitic build and looked very street wise.
Suddenly the bigge
Tuesday night I went out to dinner with my old co-workers, I once was a customer service rep for my local phone company. I live in a very small community.
At dinner the girls were telling me about a customer that just stroked in the last few weeks..... So both of them say to me, will you call her? She lives alone and she was born deaf. So I say yeah sure I'll call her, extend my hand in support.
Then I got thinking and considering.... I remember her name, I don't remember her. So long s
