I have just been on a cruise. The last time I went on a cruise I was twenty and went to Fiji and Tonga, we can't go from here to Tonga any more. This time I went to New Zealand. I shared with the sister-in-law of an old friend, the old friend and her husband went too. Also on board were two couples from the Stroke Recovery group WAGS that I still belong to.
It was good to have other friends on board and I did spend quite a lot of time with Bill and Jill. Bill was on his scooter. Bei
It is 3am,
A thud, a groan
Shine the light
He is gone
Down on the floor
Groaning
A pungent smell
Reason for rising
In the dark
Without the light
Crying out
Not again
Make the call
Which service?
Ambulance please
Man down
On his back
Gazing at the ceiling
Pressures and pulses
He seems okay
Previous damage
He's had strokes
Can he get up?
Turn on the shower ma
I wonder if I gave you a blank sheet of paper and told you to draw me a picture of your world using colour not lines what it would look like? Perhaps you could do that today? Some of you would ask for a coloured sheet because to some people that flat white sheet looks threatening, not like their life feels like at all. A friend of mine is going through a bad time and I think her background colour would be grey. None of us want black because that can be threatening too, because even at the wors
Just been talking to our assistant minister, she is my "boss" for pastoral care. We have a talk from time to time. We are both anxious to resume some of our church activities like our Playtime for Mums and kids, our Welfare programs and our night services but the current Covid regulations are preventing all of that from happening. It is very frustrating. We discussed what we thought the future of our activities on behalf of the church might look like in the new year, with Covid or after Covid b
Where is the person who looks after me when I am sick? After all those years as a caregiver that would seem obvious...it's me! Sad but true. I had the family visit end on Thursday, went to a funeral last Friday and woke in the middle of the night with a huge headache and burning up with fever. Plenty of OTC medications about the place so I got dosed up with those that would lower the temp, fix the headache and...nope did not make me go back to sleep. Saturday, so sick, stay down, make up a
I read about stroke depression and I do not have that reason for feeling blue. The sun is shining, the birds are singing but still some days I feel sad. I have a roof over my head and warm blankets and nice food but still some days I feel bad about life. I guess that is part of the human condition. I miss Ray, I miss someone to talk things over with, I miss someone who is on my side. I miss being part of a couple, I miss the real Ray, the laughing guy I married when I was 21.
I miss al
Sometimes I think about how excited I used to be when Christmas was just days away. When I was a small child my parents were not well off, we had come to Australia with very little money and I used to get just one gift, it was marked "love from Mum and Dad". I used to envy the children in our street who had aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents close by as well as their Mum and Dad who gave them presents and small keepsakes. I did have relatives but they all lived in England or Canada an
After a 27 hour journey and thanks to Pamela who picked me up at the Airport I got home late Thursday night. And as I walked in the door I felt it was MY house. At almost eleven months out is is "my home" now. Of course it is a big change stepping out of a fairly warm English summer back into an Aussie winter but it is only a matter of having extra clothes on for a few weeks and hopefully it will turn into a glorious Spring. And yes, plants died, leaves accumulated, rubbish built up and no-one
So far, for the past four months since Ray died I have felt like Jelly Woman. The strong woman I was seemed to have dissolved with all the tears I cried and it seemed as if I would never be the same again. I have cried part of every day since the 19th September. I just couldn't focus, could not find that peaceful centre that is such a part of me. I have boasted on here that I am like a bubble in a glass of champagne and nothing keeps me down, well I haven't felt like that for four months.
It is hot. So HELLO 2013, so glad you came at last! What a blast! Such a contrast to Christmas Day when I wanted it to be hot. So some suitable beach weather for me at last.
I offered to have three of my grandchildren over New Year's Eve for my daughter in law who works on Police Assistance Line (like an Emergency Line). For me to have them benefitted her as she didn't have to pay for a Babysitter and me because I had some company. It is a grand way to wake up on New Year's Day with the
I had a bit of a meltdown and left chat abruptly today. Those participating in the chat were as usual talking about the difficulties of caregiving. Okay I know all about that, but it is no longer today’s concern. My new concerns for Ray are different. What to do about his new conditions, whether he is on the right medications, whether the staff are giving him enough fluids, is he getting the right food, cut up the way he wants it etc.
I am having trouble reconciling being a caregiver with
This weekend was a turning point in a way. On Fathers Day Ray had a visit from three people, Trev, Lucas and myself. We all came in the one car. As a present we brought Ray a thick shake which he was able to drink with some minor coughing and that was our celebration. We bought Lucas a kids meal and he ate that while Ray ate his lunch so I guess you could say we had a meal together. No big backyard barbecue, no family gathering, no little ones running around or bringing gifts for "dear Pa".
I always blog when I have thought about an event and the impact has lessened. It is horrible to start a blog with: Ray might lose his leg. But that was the bottom line of our appointment with the podiatrist yesterday.
The podiatrist did a lot of tests; we were with him for an hour and twenty minutes. He started off saying he could lance the diabetic blister on Ray’s left heel and finished up saying he couldn’t. Ray’s circulation is weak in both feet, a result of the diabetes not the stro
Hi everyone, I am feeling sad and lonely and blue and a lot of other things today. It is the big let down season after Christmas and New Year is over and before "real life" starts again. It is the time when you clean up the house, throw away the wrapping paper, find a spot for the presents you got and go back to doing mundane chores.
I have been having some trouble in relating to the people here lately. Don't get me wrong, I love Strokenet and all the wonderful people I have met here. I
I went to see Ray in hospital today and had the original heart specialist drop by. As team leader he has the say and so he told me he was discharging Ray on Monday if that was okay with me. He also said there really were no answers to what was wrong with him after all their investigations so they had decided to put him back on his old medications and send a letter to his treating doctor informing him of all that had been done.
The nurse that came in after the doctors said she thought it w
Getting Ray from respite and bringing him home is the easy part. It is then settling back into routine that seems so hard. After all I have had "freedom" for two weeks. Freedom is something we take for granted for most of our adult life, it includes self-determination, freedom of speech, movement, the right to choose our own way of life etc. A lot of that is taken away from you when you have strokes or start to look after someone who has had strokes.
Ray has always been described as "ea
At last, grandchild number five, grandson number three Oliver Anthony entered the world at 1.41pm yesterday 9th August. Mother and baby doing very well, father exhausted as he sat up all night with mother. Very proud big sister Tori is very excited and wants to see him as soon as she can but small brother Alex as yet unaware of what all the excitement is about so I guess the reality will dawn on him when this small creature cries and he realises it is a new baby and not one of Tori's baby doll
For a while now I have been trying to make some changes in my life. One of them is to calm life down. Now I can be a bit of a drama queen (hey! I am a woman!) and I know that stress is not good for me and worse for Ray so I am trying to de-stress us both. As Ray ages he certainly appreciates the quiet life. And if he is stressed the result shows up in his sugar readings, they sky rocket, so it is in his interest too that we live a quieter life.
This resulted in me having a very quiet bir
Today Ray stood up for the first time in eleven days. He still can't take steps, the physio tried but he sagged at the knees and the physio called the nurse to pull the chair forward as he was holding all of Ray's weight on the gait belt. It was sad to see that despite a pain tablet half an hour before Ray was still in a great deal of pain. Even just standing up he was doing what he himself calls:"Waving in the wind."
The orthopedic team, apparently four of them, decided that the hip sock
"HI everyone. Boy have we got a full program today. Here are the highlights. Now, how would you like to tell us about your week?"
So started today's Stroke Ed group meeting. Exciting eh?
Then we run through the program a step-at-a- time. Some of it is quite good, quite interesting, quite well-balanced. But it is all words, words, words. I for one feel as if nothing goes into the program that will actually help. When the stroke survivors or caregivers are giving imput the caring
Here we are back on the lovely Central Coast. We had a good holiday, of course as usual there were days that will remain the highlights of the trip and not so good days like trying to have a picnic while it was blowing a gale at Palm Cove and going to lovely spots but without my camera. The camera worked for a while then gave up on life but Craig took a lot of photos and Shirl put the best ones on disc for me to bring home.
Overall we really enjoyed the experience and being with Shirley, C
There are a lot of well meaning people in my life. They come from all walks of life and from just about every period in my life. They may be friends of long standing or more recent friends. Some are maybe more in the casual acquaintance category but in the past those have sometimes turned into friends too, so I don't as a rule categorise them. They are all friends to me.
I am one of those people who encourages others to voice an opinion. I do so here on my blog and in chat. I allow for p
I have just posted a call for prayers for Ray because he had a fall today and is in hospital with a fractured pelvis. It amazes me how quickly things change as we were having a very good day in a week which promised to be a good one too.
Ray actually had the first fall this morning, he said he tripped over a cord (which he knew was there) and had twisted around somehow. He had fallen on carpet and was unharmed, maybe just slightly winded. So I did the British thing, sat him down in a com
Two out of three days gone already. Ray went off to Camp Breakaway on Tuesday morning and I waved him goodbye thinking about all I would get done while he was away. Well, fortunately I came to my senses. This is MY time, not time to catch up on housework, cooking, cleaning or sewing. This is my time to do the things I want to do, right?
Big problem. If someone asks me: "What do you WANT to do Sue?" I don't really know what to say. After all for the last seven years I have mostly just
I guess it is hard for us, wherever we are on the globe, to put ourselves in someone else's shoes. We do that here on this site with somewhat mixed results. I post or blog something then someone else adds a reply. I think:"Where the hell did they get that connection from what I wrote?" I think it is the filters we all see through. I look at your life through the filtered experiences of my own life. So when you say "pie" I think " blackberry" and you might be thinking "apple". It makes commu
