A few weeks ago my father approached me with the idea of making a trip to Indiana. Three days later my daughter drove us to Philadelphia airport for a trip we never imagined could happen. Dad has many physical restrictions and is unable to sit for more than a few minutes at a time so the only way I could see of flying with him was to go first class. I have been saving frequent flyer miles for about 15 years and figured this was the time to cash them in. Believe it or not we did not have a si
The pain is so intense but when you call the Dr. you are told to try taking an anti-depressant. Two days before, you sat in her office and agreed that your symptoms are not caused by depression. Now on the phone her assistant is giving you the phone number of a psychiatrist. Great! You
Summertime is when we often expect to get a bit of a break from the normal busy routine of life. Not so for us this year. While my daughters are usually gone for half the summer, one decided to stay home which has meant that we have become sleepover central and teenage transit authority. You can imagine then how I was looking forward to a restful vacation.
We have discovered the perfect vacation spot for our family where we can all find entertainment to fit our abilities. It is a Christ
Ever find that you have kept far too many concerns too closed mouth and just HAVE to dump all of them out on someone? That is where I was yesterday. I have no support network. My children are young adults and just do not “get it” so I rarely use them as a sounding board when it concerns Dick’s care. In addition to their youth, they tend to want to protect me from having concerns about Dick not realizing that that actually adds to my distress. Therefore I periodically spew everything out on
I know that I just posted a blog this week but we had such an unexpected day that I just had to share.
Yesterday was an extremely busy day for me. I had Physical Therapy in the morning. It didn’t take that long and I figured I could fit in an hour and a half visit with Dick before my appointment with my back specialist. When I got to Dick he was asleep. I rarely try to wake him because waking him suddenly leaves him especially confused. Gradually I got him to wake up but he was nearly u
This has been an odd day. Not and off-day or an on-day but odd. I think it is emblematic of the changes which have taken place in my head over the last month and a half. Two months ago I was in the hospital. Right after that my youngest moved out. At first I was sure that my whole world had fallen apart. I had never lived alone before and was convinced that I would be lonely and that I would miss my baby. I was in the middle of other major life changing decisions but decided I needed to g
2nd part of blog posted earlier
As I grew stronger I realized what a horrid place Dick was in. In the original wing where he spent most of his time there, they did not understand his dementia. They would get aggressive with him and he in turn became aggressive. They took his cane away
I have been asked to share what I have gone through since I last blogged last fall. In the hope that it will encourage another caregiver or survivor I will attempt to do so but it is a lot to put in one blog I have broken into to blogs but it is still a long tale to tell.
I was found last whining in my blogs last fall as the task of caring for my husband became an increasingly greater burden. His first strokes were 2 January 2005. He improved slowly, yet steadily for the first couple years.
We have had the best weather for the last several days. Temperatures fell dramatically from the high heat and humidity of summer over night. But for these few days it has been warm and clear. I love being able to leave the windows open and hear the night sounds. Or just sit in the slices of sun through the venetian blinds. It gives me time to calm my mind as I grapple with some heavy decisions.
I finally heard back from the state’s ombudsman today. It has been months now that I have
I love Tuesdays. Wednesdays are good too because we get to go as a family for a small group study. But Tuesdays I go alone. Alone! What a rare treat for someone who has five children and now a spouse with vascular dementia. Even the cat stands outside the bathroom door and wants my attention.
I always have a great time just being with my
My daughter took me to see Dick tonight. I hadn’t seen him in a week and missed him badly. Today I had gone through some of his clothes still in my closet and cried. I missed my old friend so much and I missed my current love as well. I was so thankful for that few minutes to hug him, hold him and get him to bed.
I have spent the last four days in the hospital (here we go again). I finally just couldn’t take that anymore and said I needed to get home. So the issues are still not cleare
The last daughter just walked into the door from the last day of school. It is officially SUMMER BREAK. I have been looking forward to this for several weeks now. I don
What a whirlwind of change has happened around here this month. Some of it has been difficult but for the most part everything has ended up being good.
I met with the Money Follows the Person (MFP) again and the two women were a tremendous amount of help. I am amazed at how much is now available for Dick should he come home. We are talking about 2 hours of home health in the morning and 3 in the evening with Day Care five days a week. Then he will have 20-30 hours of personal attendant
Well, here sits the queen of procrastination. There are so many things I needed to do this week so I keep putting off calling the Ombudsman about Dick’s care in the nursing home. I have spent hours talking to the staff and getting his summer clothes photographed and printed up a detailed inventory. I gave multiple copies to the nursing home with a list of all the items that have been lost since January. Now I will see how long it takes them to reimburse me for those losses.
As to care, I
It seems that the most common courtesy this time of the year is to ask, “How was your Thanksgiving?” Never much noticed that before but since yesterday I ate my first solid meal in over two weeks I noticed the irony this year. I had three of my five children home and I entertained them from a hospital bed. And poor Dick spent the entire time alone in the nursing home. Not a good start to a season known for good cheer, but an opportunity none the less, to reflect on the great benefits of bein
Anyone who knows me or has read my blogs will know that things have been difficult since the end of February. Few people, if any know the whole picture. That is the nature often of any caregiver
I know that in the past I have always agreed with the statement that even though your loved one is in a nursing facility, you are still a caregiver. But now that it is my turn I must say I feel like I have retired.
One could say that I did a lot of worrying for nothing or you could say all my worry paid off! I never imagined that this time of transition would go so smoothly. Dick is settling into his new environment quite contentedly. He has yet to ask to return home. I took some pictu
Today has been an amazing day. OK so it just hit mid-night so I guess I am now talking about yesterday. I am still awake just reviewing everything that happened and trying to process it all. The irony is that most of the day was taken up by a funeral!
OK funerals are NOT at the top of my like list. And this funeral was of a ninety year old woman whom I called “Mom” through my teen years. I will miss Gay so much but I believe that she is in a better place. I have felt every emotion in t
As the month of July quickly draws to an end I am again caught in one of those paradoxes which so often stymie me. I am dreading my girls all heading back to college yet I cannot wait to have the house to myself! Having three of my girls at home has been exhausting because there is so much that I want to be able to do in the short time we have together. I have chosen often to enjoy doing things that I know will leave me unable to function the next day which is well worth the pain until the pa
My husband’s one year anniversary in the nursing home was last March 13th. I had decided that then would be a good time to update my blog but every time I start to write I get distracted or plan frustrated because I cannot seem to get all I want down in black and white. So while I wait for my night time meds to kick in maybe I will be successful in updating our lives.
The decision to place Dick in a nursing home was not an easy one. I think I fantasize about bringing him home at least onc
I have often been told how strong a woman I am. When it is pointed out to me I have to admit that at times I amaze myself with what I have been able to accomplish. Most of the time though, I do not feel strong. At the worst of those times I even resent being told that I am strong. Maybe the real issue is that I do not want to be strong. I want to give up. I want someone else to take over and be the strong one.
It seems that I have always been the one making things happen. In my first
There are times when I can come up with a dozen or so topics to blog about. Today I realize that all that is in my mind is really old stuff revisited. This is really encouraging though because now that I think about it, if I have handled it before, I can handle it again. Right?!
I am still trying to understand which end is up most days. We had settled into a somewhat
