scottm

Fred was one of the first to respond when I started here. You mean a lot to us here, I just want to make sure you know that.

Asha,

That was quite moving. We all need to be reminded and remember what we have now, not what might have been. Family and friends can be partners with us as we move forward.

There are times that something strokey happens and all I can do is laugh at myself. Like misreading a sign that I thought said cats eat free at a restaurant.

Well, the wife is furious about how the doctors misled her. She has contacted a lawyer our son who is also a lawyer has recommended. My wife is ready to start nuking the doctors who initially did the surgery from orbit. I can't afford to get upset, getting angry or upset tends to completely collapse my ability to think, I just shutdown. She is angry enough for both of at this point.

Thanks for the vote of confidence Sue, it means a lot.

Good luck Jay!

I always try to keep that thought close. Especially on those days when I am feeling sorry for myself. I have a stroke friend who is wheelchair bound and another who has passed, I'm doing pretty good, still beating the odds and outliving my enemies.

I remember my first day in rehab, took 2 therapists, one on each side to get me standing and they had to hold me up or I would end up on the floor like a bag of potatoes. Took a lot of work, both physical and mental to get where I can walk slowly but I can do it. My walking isn't always graceful and my vertical integrity is sometime in question. You had a significant victory, claim it with pride.

As a fellow boater that looks real nice.

I've been fortunate to avoid that particular problem but It is really annoying when I start to say something and just stop in mid-sentence because whatever I was saying just evaporated and I don't remember what I was saying or why. Someone likes to randomly mess with my speech switch.

I may try at some point but I'm so boring even I don't know 100 things about myself.

Kelli,

Ouch, I got a pair of knife safety gloves when I realized that if my clumsy hands did the wrong thing I could be in a very bad way. I use these now as does my wife when she is using the mandolin for exactly the reason you describe. Somewhere on here is a thread about these.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B011VPDCKW/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

FWIW, the wife has a gal friend who is 76 and disabled who went zip lining last year. Now tell the kid to get off the lawn. LOL

Have you ever looked at your list and tried to remember why you had an entry for something...that is when I just hang it up.

Kelli,

I get that reaction from time to time. The stranger one is when they tell me about something I did during one of my empty periods.Those periods are completely void to me so I get second hand memories. Having memory problems will make you realize how vulnerable we can be if we hadn't surrounded ourselves with trustworthy people. And I want to say thanks for all you do to help all of us in this community.

Theme?

Don't you love it when they fix something and you go back to start PT over with all the pain and hard work. But then one day you say, hey, this isn't so bad. Remember that we're all there in spirit cheering you on.

Greetings David,

This is the link for the one I'm looking into.

https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT02448641

I have my first appt with my new primary tomorrow...should be an interesting icebreaker. The wife saw her today and she was impressed which doesn't happen often. She did warn her that I was still sensitive about the being alive and operational against all the odds. Survivors guilt maybe? I don't know.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts.

I got the package the other day and discovered that they are not yet ready in this area. They think about a month before they have everything ready so I'll have some time to consider. I think slowly these days so having time is good.

To paraphrase the Ents, anything worth thinking takes a long time to think.

When I had my last colonoscopy the nurse came in when it was over and told me I got an A+ for prep...I never knew you could fail at that part. A couple months prior to that I had one that they said I needed a do over because I had been taking iron pills per my doctor and they said my colon was as black as a coal mine. The things we learn...

Nicely done Jay.

That's awesome! Glad to hear you are getting some relief. Hopefully this will continue to work for you. My wife went through one of those years ago and it was no fun when they were finding the nerve.

The doctors can know on an intellectual level what we go through but even they cannot comprehend the concept of pain that never stops. All day everyday and night. Relief is sleeping a few hours. Until they have it happen to them or they become a caregiver this remains an abstract concept. Ask them if they ever burned themselves, then ask them to imagine that sensation lasting for the rest of their life.

But, we also have strength that even when it ebbs is powerful. We didn't get a vote about how we continue on so we just do the best we can, our strength is what comes to define us. We have been through the crucible and come out the other side different. You are not alone, we are all here to help however we can. I'd offer a hug to help if I could. ()

There are still always options. One that was mentioned to me was ketamine which can reset the pain processing, worth asking the doc but it is a very specialized process. I've got a call in to my neuro since yesterday about the pain the spasticity causes. Like a 24x7 charlie horse on my right side. I'll call and annoy him again shortly. The nerve pain is manageable today, sometimes that's as good as it gets.

Hopefully that makes sense but I'm in a haze today so please forgive me if it doesn't.

That is awesome and so good to hear! How long should that last?

Congratulations! I'm sure you will be a great grandmother. One door closes, another opens.