• A  blog is a personal journal of your daily life as a stroke survivor or stroke caregiver.  Surprisingly, countless members have called it therapeautic to write down their thoughts and to vent their frustrations.  You can make it private, just for your eyes or public and share your personal thoughts with your friends.  Why not try it, create your blog and start writing and see if it helps you.  


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  1. you all know how I resisted our move to our new home, slowly it is beginning to feel like home & has my print everywhere. yes decorated with material things I loved. hubby is usually dead against of buying things we don't need so him relaxing about my purchases  feels good. This home was unoccupied for last few years so when we moved in we interrupted ground hog who was living in our flower bed. There was war going on between my husband & ground hog & I bet both were admitting to their spouses that this time I got tough opponent  lol. groundhog would dig in hubby would fill in  hole & in the end my flower bed became our front patio lol hubby had tried cage & all other tricks but could not never catch the critter finally  when ground hog started digging at other place hubby called animal control professional guy who charged us big bucks & was able to catch critter in a day using same tricks hubby had tried. that groundhog looked so cute trapped in that cage that next day in hot weather kido & hubby were making sure to give him food & water lol. Anyway slowly all smalll nuisances we were dealing with after our move is beginning to sort out & this does feel like home where we belong together. So I am happy



  2. Oh winter woes are upon us, we are expecting the coldest weekend of the year this coming weekend.  It must be true it was on Facebook!  Seriously there has been a debate about rising price of heating a home and how a lot of older people are scrimping on heating because of high power bills.  I admit to be one of them  I sit at night with a rug over my knees, I make them anyway so have a lot on hand.  I have a hot water bottle to warm my bed up, old fashioned I know but it does the job, extra blankets and a quilt keep me warm.  It is not a problem for me to live this way as I have always been in a situation where you opened doors and windows to keep cool in summer and closed them to keep warm in winter.  No snow here though there was a sheen of frost this morning, first time for a few years. Because i am close to a beach the warmer temps usually make frost hard to form so it must be colder than usual.


    I can't say I do winter happily.  I don't heat my house unless I have visitors so I walk around in layers of clothes and  looking like a penguin.  Not a good look but as I am alone does it matter?  I spend a lot of extra time in the shopping centre as it is not pleasant on the beach and going for a walk with the wind blowing is uncomfortable so I walk the mall.  In doing so I meet up with a lot of people I don't see in summer when we are all scattered to various activities.  Yesterday I met two people who I knew in the 80s and have seen very little of since as they moved away.  Both had come back to family events, fortunately neither to funerals which is the main reason people come back home from the warmer north in winter.  Of course a lot of my contemporaries are turning 70 this year so there are a few people visiting to celebrate an "O" birthday.


    I didn't hear from any of my children this week which led a friend and I to have one of those macabre discussions about how long our bodies may lies undisturbed after we die.  Just the kind of conversation to have over a cup of coffee!  But those topics are often in the news this time of the year.  I do ask my daughter to make sure she contacts me ( or I her) at least once  a week but she and her family have been up with her husband's mother for a few days so didn't remember to ring me.  Her m-in-law had a fall a week ago reaching up to get something out of a cupboard so they were a bit worried, but all is well and she is fine after the fall. She is almost blind but knows where everything is in her own house so manages fairly well.  I  think the time will come when that is not the case but have to say the two brothers do make sure between them that she is called every few days.


    I also worry about older folk at the church who didn't appear on the previous Sunday, of course not all come regularly so I only ring if they have been away for a few weeks as I don't want them to think I am harassing them.  Some of them I also catch up with in the local shopping centre as the older ones particularly may have a carer each fortnight who brings them shopping as part of a socialization program. The retirement village people have weekly buses for the same purpose.  I can meet old friends that way too if I shop on Thursdays. The world of the widow is a small one I find, plenty to keep busy us but not a lot of companionship unless you seek it out. Which of course I do. I am lucky I have a few people I can have coffee with regularly. I do advise people who tell me they are lonely to do the same although I know that is not everyone's idea of how to fill their days.


    For people who have cared for someone long term as I did with Ray so many of our friendships broke down when we could no longer do what our friends wanted us to.  Ray and I missed out on so many engagement parties, weddings etc because they were held at venues without lifts, with little hole-in-the-corner bathrooms that couldn't be accessed from a wheelchair, where the venue was not disabled friendly, like one family who said they didn't invite us to the wedding because it was on a boat!.  I would rather they had invited us as at least we could have waited on the wharf to wish the young couple well. I sometime see old friends who say that their daughter or son has been married ten years or more and look at me with a guilty look suddenly remembering that we weren't invited to the happy event.  Nothing I can do about that as it is all water under the bridge now, so to speak.


    .And so filling the days is what I do. Keeping myself busy can build up though and so I resigned from a couple of jobs I have been doing for a long time in the church. I no longer want to do days that are too long and leave me still tired the next day.  That is not what i want this part of my life to be about.  I have had plenty of those days in the past.  The rainbow scarf I knitted for a friend has been handed over and she was very pleased with it.   I am making another version for myself, yes, some people could get the wrong impression but if it goes with an outfit who cares?  I think as I have aged I am less eager to be seen in a "good light", I don't mind if something  I do is seen as being a little controversial or open to discussion.  As a church person I am following someone who did the same, left himself open to discussion.  The Way of the Cross is like that. Hopefully is is also comforting and brings peace to people.  I did preach on that last Sunday.


    I caught up with an old friend on Monday, we met at a cafe near a railway station as he is without a car on his visit to the coast.  It is good to catch up with a person who is non-judgemental, can hold a reasonable conversation and knows me well enough not to have to explain every sentence we exchange, someone I feel at home with.  Ray and I used to go on picnics with him and his grandsons, one of whom is autistic.  It was great to catch up on their current doings.  He lives with his daughter now. We can both picture J walking over Ray across the bench he was sitting on on his way to a place he was focused on.  Ray of course yelped out and the boy looked down and said:  "Sorry" and continued his journey.  Life is full of incidents like that, serious at the time but something to laugh at when we look back on them. And this friend knows what it is to have someone special with a disability and so was a great support to me.  His grandkids called us Uncle and Aunty and it was great to know that one of them is to be married soon. We live in a big country and often have friends too far away to visit often but still often in our thoughts.


    So the decision this morning is whether to stay home to do some housework and some extra cooking for the freezer or whether to dress up warmly and go out for a coffee.  Which do you think I should do?

  3. Today I am officially a member of a health club!! My daughter is the best! I went into this big bright workout space and toured Planet Fitness. I go back at 1:00 today to go over what I am looking for and to make goals. I can't wait! This will give me several things. 1st and foremost working on getting healthier and with that I hope to lose the weight I have put on since the stroke and maybe even more. This is also a way for me to spend some of my day. I need so much to 'get out'. I have time everyday to work on my goals and just enjoy a new atmosphere all at the same time. I am so excited I just wanted to share!

  4. SassyBetsy
    Latest Entry


    I went to dinner on 4th and saw fireworks out the window. I walked around stores and bought a bracelet gift from son and outfit for our future roadtrip we are discussing now. I am not good in sun or when tired but I want to be alive. I want beauty stuff. OMG I put on false eyelashes! A nurse here checked me before I left to dine out to make sure I was presentable lol! Not crazy looking! My son was pleased and liked I had nails...did not notice eyes either hahaha! It was hard walking in the crowded bar.  I told son I felt too many young people so I not belong and he said too many older people hahaha! 


    I walked in theater...big accomplishment and sat in recliner seats with a tray which was so great...where was this years ago for kids. I was in heaven living normal.


    I look forward to going out again. thanks to the spinal pain relief. but it takes days to recover sleeping.


    but worth it.


  5. Today was a great day, and to be honest, I don’t really comprehend it. I went to see my doctor who did my gastric sleeve surgery. The fact he came in and was very pleased made me feel better for I cheated BIG time on vacation. The only thing good about that is I can only eat so much before I get sick feelings.  My stomach really isn’t that big any more so that helps because those Cheeses were amazing... (Thanks mom.)
    My parents drove my son and me to the doctors, for I still can’t drive because of my eyes, and I made sure to wear as little and light at possible.  I jumped on the scale (211.8 lbs. ) wow. When I had my surgery I was (229lbs) and before the surgery I was 252 lbs.  I am very happy I am losing the weight, no complaints, though the weight wasn’t my intended reason for this surgery. I’ve talked about this before that since my stroke, my brain and stomach don’t always “talk “so I would maybe eat one meal a day and hardly drink. My goal was to be “forced” to eat smaller meals. And it worked.  I know eat smaller meals and have to be cognitive of what goes into my mouth. He informed me that having this surgery for that procedure usually have a success rate of 30%-60% of extra fat that is on the body. I’m already above the 30% of lose only after almost 5 months. 
    I do have to exercise more but until my eyes are more stable and allows me better balance I’ll stick with yoga.


  6. srademacher
    Latest Entry


    Friday, June 30 th   My 69th and would have been Dan’s 44th birthday – we headed over to the new house with Kelly and her friend, Jim to do the cleaning and prep work to get ready for moving.   Jim got all of the bigger items done---door locks changed, hardwiring the electrical for the drip system, replacing fan light in bedroom #2, replacing the garbage disposal, and installing the grab bars in both bathrooms.    Kelly was here to get the cleaning done and put the shelving together for the garage items, but kept getting sidetracked with other jobs.  She watered the plants front and back and checked the chemical levels in the pool, and changed out the RO filters while Jim had the garbage disposal out of her way.   Gary was bored out of his mind when he wasn’t napping so I parked him in the living room, facing the wall where we would eventually put the big tv, and told him to pretend he was watching his favorite show on tv.  I asked him to please sit still while we worked.   As usual, he had to be a smartass and told me  “change the channel.”  


    Saturday –Kelly was supposed to pick me up at 6:30 so we could go get the Uhaul truck by 7 a.m.  I had arranged for a neighbor, David to come over and sit with Gary for about a half hour while we went to get truck.  It was nearly 7:10 when Kelly showed up with the Uhaul.   David stuck around and helped with the loading of items in the truck once Joel and Ryan arrived to help.  I had been up since 3:30 and got all the computer stuff unplugged and ready to go so tried to stay out of their way and keep my feet elevated.   Carmen arrived at 8 a.m. to start cleaning up behind us as we emptied out the rooms.  We were on the road to the new house by 10 a.m. and they managed to get it all unloaded from the Uhaul truck, son’s pickup and my SUV,  and were out of here by 1:30.   Gary and I were here alone with no internet, no tv and no phone service till the 3rd.    My cell phone carrier – Consumer Cellular has intermittent service here at the house – looks like I’ll be changing carriers soon.


    We ate a late lunch after everyone left since none of them wanted to stick around for lunch.  By 5:30 pm the pool in the back yard was shaded over enough that I didn’t need to lather myself in sunscreen, so we headed out back – me in my granny swimsuit, and him in a sleeveless top and shorts.  I parked him on the patio and grabbed the skimmer to clean the few leaves out of the pool before getting in.   It didn’t take me long to realize I need grab bars for myself to get in and out of that pool.  There was nothing to hold onto as I took the few steps down into the pool nearest the back patio area.   It was even worse trying to get out.   I had to get out on my knees and try standing up from there without anything to hold on to.  We need to remedy that sooner rather than later.   I managed a 40 min. swim and because I had been awake since 3:30 a.m., I finally hit the new bed by 7:30 p.m. and slept until 2:30 a.m.   I was exhausted.  Gary didn’t wake up to pee until nearly 5:30 a.m., and then rolled over and went back to sleep until 9 a.m.  


    While the new grab bars in the bathrooms work well for me, we still have a problem with getting Gary in and out of a tub.  The bathroom off the master bedroom is narrow and he has to turn a corner to get to the tub area – looks like bathroom door removal is inevitable.   For now, we can get him on back patio in a shower chair and hose him off.  


    We survived Sunday in the new house – just the two of us ….cell phone coverage was still very spotty and driving me crazy.  I did get a few incoming texts but could not respond to them.  Jim had texted me several times about picking up the ADA toilets and when he could install them.  I finally was able to get a text back to him that Monday was not a good day with the cable guy coming to do phone, internet, and tv hookups and Kelly would be here to help get household stuff in from the boxes in the garage.   We didn’t need more people in and out tripping over each other in the narrow hallway from the garage.  He agreed to wait until Tuesday to get it done and figure out what we need for ramps in and out of garage and back patio area.   Gary and I managed a trip out to the local Walmart for some grocery items and picked up a KFC meal at their drive-up window and headed home.  I also managed to get to the washer and dryer in the garage to run a load of clothes.


    Monday morning, July 3rd, Gary was yelling about 4 a.m.  I decided there was no point in trying to go back to sleep so I got up and ate my bowl of cheerios before it was even light outside.  I found a few more items I had been searching for in that pile in the garage and brought them in, but I’m still missing the connection cable for the printer.  At least I got all the computer cables hooked up so COX can hook us up to internet today whenever they get here.   I have no idea what time they are coming, but hope it’s early so I can get out to the bank and Walmart while Kelly is here.   I didn’t get all the items on my list when we went to Walmart yesterday because it’s not easy pushing a grocery cart and a 220 lb. man in a wheelchair…feeling it in my back and neck this morning….won’t do that again! 


    Things will eventually calm down and we can start enjoying our new home.  Once all the boxes and bins are unpacked and things neatly put away, we can enjoy the peace and quiet of a smaller community.  Our biggest problem here will be keeping the pigeons away, and I think Kelly had a good suggestion for that.  I have no idea why the house was designed with a ledge above the garage and the front entrance, but I’m sure there must have been a pigeon involved in that decision making process.  I wouldn’t mind if they just sat on the ledge, but if I want to clean up crap every day, I’ll get another dog.   No pigeon poop for me…..thanks anyhow!!!!






  7. Some people may be offended by this..... But today I come to the nursing home to see Dan. Who has refused to shower for almost 2 weeks now. He is fighting over the time of his shower. Somewhere, somehow, he has decided the time to be showered is 12 o'clock noon..... It has never been scheduled for that time. Whats wrong with that time ? Well plenty all the staff are busy and Dan will take himself to the shower room and load himself into the shower... Hooray independence - NOT... Its dangerous , no one is there at that time. Normally as I always have in the past I fight the battle and make it happen. But Im tired of the fight. It is a simple control mechanism . And he has no regard . For anyone in his pursuit. So Im not fighting it. Ive put my foot down and told him no more. Follow the flipping rules. Well 2 weeks out he is still refusing to shower at his time. 

    Tonight after my day at work I bring him supper- Crappy Mc Donalds again.... YUCK. anyhow, the home had turkey supper looked ok . So I figured Ill eat the darn turkey, he can eat the dog crap - Mc Donalds---. So an aid brought in the tray. set it down and Dan told her to leave. OK.... then he tells me he needs to go to the BR for a BM.... Are you kidding me. He laid there waiting for me, to come so I could take him to the Bathroom. Is that an honor? A novice caretaker might think so.... To me it is a degrading insult.... I worked and took care of him at home for years. Only to be driven to depression by his OCD behavior.. Now Im his aid still... Nope -- I left... Now the home is calling , what do we do?  I don't know?? If I knew he would still be at home with me... This man, this stinky- controlling man- I don't even know who he is. Damn - it never ends. 

  8. This is tiny update to boast.


    I finally did my first "run throughs" at Running Group on Monday.  I've been going to Running group since Dec 2015 so it's taken 18 months to meet this first part of the goal. It's now just over 12 months since the cast came off after my leg surgery. I still can't really get up on my toes, so this was probably not really running which actually needs "flight phase" but it's a good approximation and starting point for improvement. So I'll call it "running"


    "Run throughs" means  that they put a gait belt on you and then you "run" with little steps, as much on your toes as you can down the hallway (about 10 metres) with a therapist holding the gait belt just in case and helping you with rhythm. The aim being to eliminate the "gallop" rhythm that most stroke survivors have where the bad leg hesitates between pairs of steps. this is all about consistent fast twitch muscle response. I did 4 runs and each was a bit better than the last one.



    So there's still a very long way to go but ... :happy-dance:

  9. Well today my definition is a successful trip to the grocery store I did run into anybody with my cart I did hit one display but I did knock it over so I think I was quite successful what do you think

  10. The second anniversary of my husband’s first stroke and the day I became a caregiver recently transpired.  Upon this anniversary day my stroke survivor began aquatic therapy.  This is something he wanted to do for sometime but being wrapped up in a medical system that dictates the where, when, and why we had to wait.  Thus, good things do come to those that wait.  

    My husband’s ability to do things on his own is still very limited.  I, at this two-year mark, still assist my husband with most tasks such as dressing, transferring, hygiene and food preparation. Certainly, he puts forth an effort to try and do things himself, but most times will need assistance or accept I will do it for him.  Often, I have to encourage him to try something himself.  Frankly, his mind can not always rationalize doing these things on his own.


    So, as I assisted my husband into a lift chair that would lower him into the water I held apprehension.  The therapist standing over six feet tall took my husband out of the chair and starting him walking backwards.  Back he went, then forward and then side stepping.  They had him kick his knees, move his arms, step up and down on steps, and hold himself in place. Over and over they assisted him to perform…Perhaps cognitively this moved a bit too fast for my husband yet he did it.  Don’t get me wrong the therapist was holding onto him the whole time but my husband was moving his left arm and leg on his own as if it was not a problem. I am pretty sure my mouth was gapping open in amazement.


    As we exited the pool and moved to the handicap restroom we entered into what I will just say was a “God send.” This designated family washroom had a shower with a bench and bars for the handicap.  The same was in the toilet stall along with an additional dressing bench equipped to assist the disabled. I was able to help my husband with showering in an environment that was clean, private and spacious. I suppose it may sound silly, but our “make-shift” bathing arrangements we have at home has made bath time a tedious task for me.  Yet, on this day a beautiful gift was presented to us.


    With all this “gifts from heaven” that I felt was laid before us it reminded me of the limited resources that stroke survivors are given. Specifically in my husband’s case he is young…not yet a senior…so the resources we have for adult day care are few and far between.  I am not saying they do not exist but in the area we live it just isn’t plentiful.  It makes me ask “Why?”  We have several hospitals that are STROKE trauma centers in our area. Which would imply knowledge of brain injury therapy and means for unlimited resources.  Yet, as my husband and I went through a system of therapy for a stroke “victim” I became aware of just how limited resources are for those who become young stroke survivors.  


    Our journey was very rough and I know there were things that could have been much easier than they were.  That is all water under the bridge…More so, I can say, my dear readers, I have been made aware. I want to pursue the idea of a spa setting that caters to the handicap where one can go and soak in a bath with out fear of drowning or even just getting in and out of a tub.  Perhaps, finding a place for individual who need daily assistance but want to socialize and feel normal.  I feel compelled to research this idea.  My husband is a stroke survivor…I am his caregiver, but this journey has led me too more than taking care of him.  Therefore, I simply pose the discussion to my readers regarding limited resources for stroke survivors and what you have experienced or done in your area.

  11. Punch1021
    Latest Entry

    The last time I blogged it had been awhile. I said I would blog/write more, but that never happened.  Now that it seems my world is crashing, I am writing a blog.  Today marks the one year of my brother's death.  It is still hard to come to terms that he is gone.  To help cope with his loss, I sought out another therapist.  I had joined a meet up group after my second break up with my ex so life was going in the direction I wanted.  Then yesterday I get hit with my job duties being changed at work.  I am going from a manager to a coordinator.  Same pay, but no more management duties.  Another co-worker will take over my position at the lower level and I will take over hers.  One of the owners where we work will take over the management duties.  You're an owner, you already have leadership duties right?  Right...  The young lady I supervise was told today.  Our boss said she is her supervisor now. She was just as confused as to why they made this type of change. When I talked to my boss about this I told her that I feel like this is a demotion.  She said it wasn't.  She felt my strengths were better at my co-workers job and she would do well with mine(with her help).  However, my coworker cannot handle her current position.  She also doesn't know how to talk to people.  Her position requires that she talks to people.  I will now have to make sure I keep the people that she talks to.  I was also told to help keep others positive about this change.  This whole thing has me so sick.  I almost broke down at work today thinking about this change and how it's also the day my brother left this earth.  Tomorrow I am seeing both of my therapist.  It will be interesting to see what they say about this.  Especially, the one who said I was projecting too much on what my coworkers would do. 

    Before this change, I was having a good year.  I finally traveled internationally.  In April I went to Egypt.  It was the best time of my life.  I will go again hopefully next year.  I have been going out, trying to be social.  Trying to get my life together.  Then this happened.  Now is the question of what do I do next.  I emailed all the owners of the company about how I felt.  Just waiting to see if one of them will write back.  If not, I will try to stay on as long as I can, but I see myself resigning.  I can't sit here and pretend to like someone who didn't respect the people who worked for me.  I can't be positive for owners who want me to go along with this and convince others to be the same as well.  Sometime I think they want this to happen.  They tell me I am valuable, but their actions tell me I am not. 

    I know this issue will pass, but it was nice not having such issues. I hope they will answer my email and if I need to leave, I hope I can find another job quickly.  Our general manager was fired last year and she is still unemployed.  I don't want to go down that unemployment road again so soon. 


  12. I'm having a rough, emotional morning. A close friend of the family recently had a cardiac event that hospitalized him, and after having an MRI, it was determined that there was evidence of two old strokes.  I haven't spoken to him directly, he hasn't any paralysis, and have learned that he seems very confused, can't drive, and his brother couldn't understand him while talking with him on the phone.  Apparently he's seeing his PMD this Friday.


    I realize that he and his wife are taking care of it in their own way, and that's the way it is, but I'm really scared for him.  I think it stems from my own experience; at the same time my level of emotional response seems (to me) inappropriate.  Brain short-circuit? 

  13. nancyl

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    ECT --- works . ( electro convulsive therapy )   Yes the "barbaric" "one flew over the cuckoos nest" - Zap the brain.. Works.  Old timers know about my battle with depression after caregiving proved to much for me. But taking care of Dan is proving challenging for the nursing home as well. He is frusterating. For even the most seasoned medical Pros. I get a bit of satisfaction knowing that. I did 4 years, the nursing home just completed their second. It is so nice to not wake instantly ( if i would get sleep) with a panic attack- that just lasted 24/7. So fellow caregivers with unresolved depression there is hope. Of course as with all things medical - it is not a one size fits all. It may or may not work for you. And during the treatment - you are existing. thats it. But I knew from the very first treatment that this was by far the most positive reaction - I had felt since the long list of methods, medication, supplements, homeopathic cures, hospitalization. 

    People I met during my depression are just now meeting "me". LOL Anyone can message me if my experience is in the least bit helpful. 

  14. Lesley's mum is now here and settling into life in North East Tennessee. She handled the long flight from New Zealand to Los Angles very well. She and Lesley spent 5 days there resting and spending time with relatives. A 5 hour flight here and all is now going very well. The paperwork and medical exam are in the hands of the immigration lawyer and mum's health is good. She has a nanny nap once or twice a day and awakes bright and cheerful


    What a joy it is to have her with us at this time in her life! Lesley has been taking her all over the local shops and we have been spoiling her every day. We spent last weekend in Atlanta with some relatives and she was the center of attention. Lesley and mum are sharing many special mother/daughter hours together everyday. I rather stay out of the way and do as I am told. I have never eaten better!


    Before she arrived I put a short hand rail by the only two steps in our house and they have worked out well. It is all she needs to get up and down them without assistance. We just hover nearby. This week I will be putting the seat lift in the motorhome so she will not have to deal with stairs getting in and out of it. She is excited and cannot wait for us to get on the road again soon. We plan to be traveling in late June for a month or so, depending how she handles it.


    the dogs have become very protective of her and are always nearby.


    well, I must go now, just a quick update here.

  15. lwisman
    Latest Entry

    It is been a while since I have blogged.

    Since I last blogged my sister went on a 10 day retreat to Colorado. Jade the cat and I enjoyed ourselves. The bad news was that just before Marge left I baked a ham, put a lot of slices in the freezer, and made ham and beans. The ham and beans were really good, but Marge left town. After getting really tired of ham and beans I froze a large cottage cheese container (three pound container.) She is enjoying them now!

    Keys. About a month ago the keys for the shed in the backyard went missing. We looked everywhere. Had just about decided to find someone to cut the lock. The other key, which had been missing, is the second key to my car. Again, every pants and jacket pocket was checked. Then one day I was cleaning out my pouch and found the car key. It had migrated to the very bottom. I have been in the pouch countless times, but never all the way to the bottom. Hmm…an idea worth checking out for the shed key. A friend is currently in the process of making us a replacement for the kitchen table cover – the current one is waterproof and is elasticized – they no longer sell them big enough. Anyway, when Pat came to get the old one (with hole) for a pattern there was stuff on the table. Sure enough the keys had fallen into an empty flower pot under the table. Just dig deep….


    While Marge was gone I decided to put my 2017 village sticker on my car – deadline was April 30. I counted the stickers already there –six— and decided there really was not room for anymore. So I backed the car out of the garage so I had better light and went out with goo gone, razor blade, paper towels and vinegar water (to get rid of the goo gone). After a lot of elbow grease I removed three old stickers. Decided the other three could come off next year. After cleaning up with the vinegar water I put the 2017 sticker on. While I was out Sara, who lives directly across the street from us, came over to check on me. If you ever want to know what is happening in our neighborhood,, just ask Sara!

    Speaking of neighbors the four kids who just moved in next door were all out in the backyard playing late one afternoon this week. Jade the cat lay on her perch in the window and watched them for the longest time.

    Thursday I was up at 6 am to finish getting stuff together before cleaning lady, who was scheduled to come at 8. No it was not all cleaning, LOL. Anyway the person who runs the cleaning service called at 7:15 to say the cleaning lady would not be at our house until 11:30. Then at 10:15 the hair dresser called because we had 10 and 10:30 appts to have our hair cut. She said if we could get there by 10:30 she could still do both of them. We were there at 10:29. So it was a crazy day. But, the house is clean!

    Friday morning I woke up and immediately noticed pain in my left little finger. It was swollen, but obviously the problem was under the nail. No way to get to it. I washed it well and put on antibiotic cream. It was not helping. Figured the antibiotic cream was tainted. Saturday morning the finger no longer throbbed, but there was still pain when it was bumped. So at 8:05 I was backing out of the driveway to drive to Walgreens (about a mile from us.) Bought new cream. Within 30 minutes after putting it on I could tell the difference. Now there is only slight pain when it is bumped. Still some swelling and redness. But, looks like it is on the way to healing.

    My third bread machine (in twenty years) has died. Of course it died while I was making bread. This first happened a few weeks ago. I gave the machine a good cleaning and it started working again. Then it happened again this morning. Anyway I have not actually used a bread machine for baking the bread for years. I only use the dough setting and then bake in the oven. I think it both tastes and looks better. I took the ingredients from the bread machine pan and used the dough hook on my stand mixer. The bread is ok, but not near as nice as with the machine doing the kneading and heat control. Then I got on the internet and learned a lot about using a dough hook. So I think I will experiment a bit. I have thought for years a bread machine was more than I needed, but have not seen a good alternative. We shall see.


    Sun is shining today. Temps are only in the 50s. But after days of rain this is a nice change.

  16. nancyl

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    I haven't been able to be alone for a very long time. This weekend I have been. No one here. It is nice, not only the freedom of it, but the fact I can do it. For so long being at home alone was something I just made sure never happened. Not on a conscience level, but sub consciencely. I have a little anxiety this morning, but thats only because i have "thought " about it.

    Dan is doing as well as Dan can do. Good days, Bad days the same cycle repeats itself. Trying hard to just hang on and enjoy the good and walk away from the bad. But on average I leave the nursing home - which i visit usually x2 daily- crying about 2 days a week. last week was his birthday, baked him a homemade red velvet cake. That cake is a lot of work. The kids took it to him along with his birthday gift. A fluffy "cheatah blanket". I was home sicker than a dog with this darn flu/cold. He was mad it wasn't me, so he kicked the kids out, along with the cake and his present. Mind you earlier he had ny sister come to his room and ask to take him to one of my daughters home for his birthday. He refused - i think he thought I would come, I couldn't ,i just ached to much. 

    I came the next day and he does the dismissive thing flipping his hand in the - go away fashion- the," get out of my sight." I have had that happen to me so much, one would think I would become immune  from that distain he displays. But Im not. I still care enough to cry. 

    I have found I can concentrate much better. At work I am finally a asset instead of a hinderance. It was awful, in the height of my depression- i had no ability to remember, my eyes couldn't see and focus. and my hearing was muffled . My stomach had that awful fight or flight feeling. Those were my primary problems, with a whole host of more minor complaints. You know on Facebook some little saying will come up with a clever way of saying, all that has happened to me has made me stronger. I say thats a lot of B**lSh*t. If it ( depression) didn't kill you, your just damn lucky. Luckier still if you can find a treatment that works. Well thats my brilliance , haha for today.... 

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    I have lost so much hair and I started rogain again today. Solution this time instead of foam.

    has anyone used it???

  17. dreinke
    Latest Entry

    It has been years since posting here or replying to content. Too busy living life. Just got back from a two week trip to Spain. I keep busy updating my personal blog and writing chapters in a collaborative stroke book.  I barely have enough time writing 5-25 posts a day to visit stroke forums along with a full time job.  Deans' Stroke Musings for those who aren't offended by swearing. 11 years and having the time of my life.  My 10,000 step a day goal has been going strong for 13 weeks.

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    I'm just sitting here bored out of my mind.  there is no one down in the Social Room I want to visit with. (I live in an Independent Living Senior apartment building-I'm the youngest one here by a few years).  There isn't anything on tv except for all the controversy surrounding "you know who" for a while until baseball comes on.  was supposed to have an MRI yesterday but the machine broke Monday night so now I have to wait until May1.  Have a 48 hour EEG coming up next Mon-Wed. decided to stop my volunteer work with the local bus company because I was concerned about being out with a group and having one of my episodes. I was a Mobility Mentor-we go with seniors/disabled on the bus to appointments/shopping/outings.   We show them how to ride the bus and help them get there and back home. I'm also the Activities Coordinator for the Mobility Travel Club I set up here in my building-I look for things for the travel club to do and schedules the outings.  having one of my episodes and not feeling to hot but don't want to go be alone in my apartment. I will be so glad when we figure out what is going on with me and takes steps to resolve these issues. of course that may not happen, but I am hopeful.

  18. thejule1
    Latest Entry

    I'm ashamed to say I have not been on here for a long time.  Larry has had some health issues lately.  I was in the hospital overnight for the first time in 30 years due to a blood pressure problem.  Luckily my son was able to be here to take care of Larry.  Fortunately I was only in the hospital for one night but I need to plan a "what if" should I be unable to take care of him for a longer period next time.  You never know what is around the corner. 

    For the second time since the end of 2014 Larry had another battle with aspiration pnuemonia.   He was doing well on the feeding tube after we got him on the right formula two years ago.  He finally gained weight and was at 183.  This last hospitalization knocked the daylights out of him.  He was in the hospital for a couple of weeks and then in the short term rehab for another month.  Due to all the antibiotics he was taking, he contracted C-Diff.  He continued to work hard in therapy which helped.   He was able to come home but it took a while before he was able to walk with his cane again.  I couldn't get our good physical therapist until 5 days later.  He has made good progress and is walking again with his cane and transferring well.  He had his 7th stroke anniversary in February.  I can tell he has declined some over the years but I am happy I was able to get him back home again.  He is looking forward to watching our first Cardinal home game this Sunday.  

    We are lucky that we have not had any snow to speak of so far.  Spring is starting early here.

    My best to all,










  19. Hi,

    I thought I would write more often, but this seems to be the pace.

    I stopped going to our Older Persons Center (OPC) where I would work out on the rehab exercise machines.  I was trying to see if I could get off Ambien and get my head to quit hurting all the time.  It is so tiring.  So far no luck.  I went to a new neurologist last month who specializes in chronic head aches to see if there is another approach.  She has me on Pamelor which is supposed to make you sleepy.  Not me, just kinda excited, but very tired.  Weird.  But I have to build up the dose over a few months to see if there is improvement.  It's some sort of antidepressant, but fortunately I don't need it for that.  S'pposed to help with nerve pain and interupt the feedback look for pain.   If not, then try something else.

    Social security decided that I was disabled.  I thought I would be glad to get that decision.  But it created weird feeling.  I know I am disabled, but I don't want other people telling me that.  It seemed like a jail sentence.  It was faster decision than I thought it would take, guess I am more messed up than I thought.  Oh well, I keep telling myself I will still walk the Appalachian Trail, so maybe something will happen. So far I've only walked a few hundred yards on that point between Tennessee and North Carolina, pre-stroke.

    It's time to get the garden started.  Got some seeds planted indoors.  Now I have to build a cover for my garden so that deer, rabbits, and ground hogs don't eat everything.  This has been a constant battle.  Hopefully I will get more of my vegs than I give to them this last year.  Animals 100, John 0.

    I saved some tomato seeds from an Heirloom a few years ago and decided this year to try them.  They have started to grow.  first step.  Now to grow them and see what I got.  I don't know what they are.  In my haste back then I only labeled the envelope heirloom seeds.  Duh, what one?  Sometimes I get so frustrated with me.  Why did I think I would remember the type?  Oh well.  If I can get them to grow and the deer don't eat the blooms like last year, I will find out if they are cherry or larger.  I am hoping they are cherry.  if so I know they are Ruby Pearls.  So have been the best small cherry - grape sized I have ever eaten.  So sweet.  Others are good, but these are just a little better.

    I'm always open to better ways to garden, so if you have tricks, I'm all ears.  Thanks,

    all for now, Have a Great Day everyone!

  20. smallory
    Latest Entry

    Please read my blog articles by clicking here.  


  21. I'm so happy to report my wife is better walking, sleeping, and being herself again.... God is good all the time!!!!! So all I can think of is take her to some place she loves and enjoys being there..... She even got up this morning and went to early morning Glory service at church driving herself in my car of course........


    That place will be the Casino since they have already sent me an email for two free nights at the Hotel...... :D She was cleared by her doctor this week and all the gear she was using was turned in so she can wear regular clothes and shoes again and return to work full time.... God Is Good All The Time!!!!


    I send my Thanks for All Your Prayers and Best Wishes they were all good, thank you all!!!!!


    Thank You, Thank You....... :D

  22. ksmith
    Latest Entry

    Well tomorrow is the day that I only consume liquid. I have Tuesday I have a surgery that will change my life for the better. Then why am I scared? I’ll tell you:


    I explained it to my mother that I feel like a drug addict that is facing life after rehab. The fear of the unknown. It is a common fear with this according to other candidates for the surgery. So I’m not crazy? I often say to myself; ‘I love my pizza and pasta and goodies’, and then I feel trepidation with my decision. Crazy right? Well no. The same fear I’m feeling is the same after my stroke. ‘I love riding my bike and walking in heels’ was what I would often say and still to this day I feel less of a woman for heels, well in my mind, made a woman sexy…attractive to men. That kind of feeling is the same that I first thought about myself after my stroke I mean who would ever want me? I was married at the time and we were mainly best friends, to no fault of his, for I forgot the first nine years of our marriage. Sure, we could have rebuilt it but before the stroke there were problems in our marriage. Despite that, he stood my myside for five years after the stroke and he is still one of my best friends. In that time I was able to relearn many daily functions of life but I still don’t feel attractive enough to attract a man. (Not that I’m looking now)
    It’s thoughts like that and advice from people that made my decision to get back into shape. The surgery will allow that to happen. This is the last course of action I wanted to take but the invisible aspects of my stroke make that nearly impossible. But little by little I’m trying to correct my health by taking these steps.


    Now, I started this out by likening this surgery as a drug addict. Food was my drug. Comfort was my drug. It was also my antidepressant throughout my recovery from stroke. Now I have to adjust to the changes, which frankly aren’t that different from when I was workout I was doing before the stroke. Yes, my food size will GREATLY decrease. I was, before my stroke, riding my mountain bike twenty miles a day was nothing but, that also allowed me to eat almost anything. And I did.


    I’m stronger than this and I know that I can overcome this challenge for if I overcame my stroke to life again I got this too. Bring it on Tuesday!!

  23. Time flies...having fun or not. William is still not able to walk on his own. We do make it to the pool about 4 times a week. I have decreased our workout time to 30 minutes. We used to do an hour. That is about all that we do.
    Our day goes as follows:
    William gets up around 6 am and Wa Him to the recliner. He takes his morning meds and has something to drink. I get him back to bed and I get to the YMCA and start my morning routine. I usually do laps for 30 minutes and then take a water class. I do a yoga class or weights or a cardio machine. I usually have 3-4 hours at the gym.
    I make it home and get breakfast for William. I next take the dogs out for a walk. We usually get to the park and walk for an hour.
    Now it is noon or 1 pm. I take William to a different YMCA that has a therapeutic pool. We will get home in an hour or so. I usually buy a subway sandwich for William on the way home. He is usually hungry.
    By the time we reach home 30 minute drive...William is ready for a nap.
    I do the laundry and walk the dogs. The usual clean the house and cook and shop.
    I take William to the Ymcas monthly luncheon. I have stopped going out to eat since I have retired. I have more time to cook.
    I have my weekly ladies bible study and monthly luncheon with friends.
    I have not been taking William to church since he has gotten more confused. I watch church on Tv.
    I got rid of cable and have an indoor antennae that works well. William likes to watch Patton over and over again.
    We are used to our new routine.
    I enjoy my free time at the gym. I have not missed work. My day is filled up.