Am dealing with so many emotions tonight. My family has gotten hit with the triple whammy today. A precious and dear cousin is battling a rare form of cancer. She is into her fourth week of chemo and radiation, terribly sick and the doctors report she is just not responding yet. Her Mom, who is 88, took a tumble and ripped open her leg, now hospitalized and going off to Rehab when all she wants is to be with her daughter. Our dear friend Barry, who suffered stroke last Thursday while undergoing
Bruce will be 61 next Wednesday. I am trying to figure out just how to celebrate and make his time special. But Ole Man Winter just keeps on acomin'. More snow due on Friday. Seems for the longest time I watch the weather channel every Sunday in order to make our plans for the week. Between the errands, his work, my work and the pool, we don't get a lot of free days to work on new stuff. But Lady Spring is coming, as she always does. Just not quick enough.
Last night his friends from work ca
As everyone here knows, I work for a SNF. I had been on personal leave for 20 months when my DON called and said she had a perfect position for me, if I was ready to come back to work: any hours, any days as long I stayed under 32 hours. I had an outside time line of 24 months, based on what Fred had mentioned about his wife-caregiver, so had been wondering what I was going to do come March.
Right about the end of May 2009, when I knew Bruce would be home by the end of the month, I called my
Well here it is-March 22, 2011: Bruce's two year stroke anniversary.
I am trying to be as eloquent as our Sue, but this would still be in draft on anniversary number three.
Had a brief panic attack this morning just before work, but it helped going to work and having to focus on something other than this day, two years ago.
It amazes me the directions we have gone in over the past two years. That year one was a nightmare and while I have put most of it behind me, there are still expe
We are experiencing tonight the largest full moon in 18 years. This will not happen again until 2029. Been watching the threads on the net about this and the connection with all the bad weather; the world, not just the NE, has been experiencing. I always loved the connection between astronomy and meteorology and just wish I had more time to study it. Maybe that will be my focus in the new year.
Had dinner last night with my high school-grammar school buds. We try to get together every few mo
Good news, I think, but at least interesting.
I have been trying to get Bruce to stay up later at night. Once dinner is served, it is dishes, washup and teeth, pills and bed. First pills are anti-spasmotics to help him relax. After sitting in a WC for most of the day, he needs to get off his butt and relax. But as everyone here already knows, they will cause drowsiness. I wake him around 10 pm for the second round of anti-spasmotics and his sleeping pill. My only control here is dinner time.
Weather report this week was very good. I told all the caregivers I wanted Bruce back on schedule and working.
Monday we again had a snowstorm here. I had been asking Bruce to shave for weeks. Leo gives a great shave and beard trim, but no go. So since we were stuck in I suggested a shave and shower. Bruce had dinner plans with his friends from work on Tuesday and I wanted a shower in preparation for that.
I find, like a lot of caregivers here, that Bruce prefers to do most things with m
The wind has been howling all day. We are under a wind advisory until tomorrow night, when we will be hit with another snow storm.
Have no complaints really. We have had seven full days of sun and warmth. Most of the snow is gone from the roof
Besides Phildogg's and thanks to my Mary Beth and my open downspouts, all the run off is on the ground and not backed up in my gutters as ice. This wind will also now dry out everything.
When I saw the weather report, I told all of Bruce's care
Weather forecast for the next week is terrific. I explained to Bruce I would like to get him back on his routine. I Emailed his Boss and said I expected Bruce to be in the office on Wednesday and Thursday. Bill said "come along!"
So we had our usual Saturday list of errands and at 35 degrees out and sunny, off we went. Well after the pool and errands, we tried to go out for late breakfast and could not find a parking space, so came home. Normally I do not mind bringing Bruce across a parking
So called home from work an hour early due to a Caregiver family emergency. I am really concerned for her but was so thankful that nothing was wrong with Bruce. I will do a rosary for that tonight. Do we ever get over that rush of relief when we find out it is not our Survivor? and then the guilt that someone else has a problem and we didn't think of her first?
Anyway, nothing done here. Complete bed change since someone chose not to go to the BR before bed, on laundry load number three for
Who do I speak to regarding the path of our current Jet Stream? We here in Connecticut and the NE in general are set in this pattern where we are getting snow almost daily off the Great Lakes.
Yesterday took the cake. Bruce and I checked the weather and were assured by several stations that this last big blast would begin in the afternoon. We skipped morning chores to get to the pool early. We had just gotten in, say 9am, when Bruce says "Ethyl, it is snowing." Bruce's Rehab is on a mountain
All of you know I live in Connecticut. More importantly, I live in North Haven, CT. On January 11th and 12th, North Haven, CT beat Connecticut's largest snowfall in 24 hours: 30 1/2 inches! Who is better than me?
After we made national news, the telephone did not stop ringing: California, New Mexico and of course, New Hampshire. We received 18" December 26th, Two storms in early January the 6th and 8th: 6" and maybe 3" (light stuff) and now the big Kahuna.
Bruce and I spent yesterday mor
My darling sister came, last minute, for the weekend. Always a treat. She is re-educating for a new career and her oldest is home for the holidays from college, so I appreciate her taking the time to come for an overnight.
As usual, she brought enough food for months. And we enjoyed a lot of sister time. One of the benefits of Bruce going to bed so early. I had been taking time out from my work to do those errands that Bruce can not share in. Last week, I had three stops and left him at work
I am pretty sure I got my Christmas present today, or an early birthday present.
Bruce is supposed to swim with Jen on Tuesdays and Fridays. She has offered excuses, but it comes down to in the last six weeks, she has taken him three times. Now my work schedule is set up so that I can take Bruce to work two mornings a week and pool on Wednesday and Saturday.
This morning he was set to go to pool, all packed and ready to go and she walks in with the long face and I just knew. I said he re
One more day of work. I am not complaining. Best thing I have done for me in 21 months. In a SNF, treats abound. We have a well-to-do patient who's family owns a Gourmet grocery store. Yes, even shrimp cocktail. I had her as a patient three years back and she says to me last night (very Italian, mind you)="Oh Debbie, you no looka like you"=gotta love it. Amazing she even remembered my name.
My gift has been Bruce's enjoyment of the season. Last year he was still too confused and after the Th
I haven't blogged in a while. Most of my updates have been in the form of a post because they deal with a specific issue that I would like feedback on.
I am still awaiting Bruce's input on the Baclofen Pump. In the meantime all his Botox has worn off. The new Insurance will not pay for Botox. Bruce no longer goes to PT and OT. I am saving that money if needed for the Baclofen Pump therapy, if he chooses to go that way. Funny, his Lifeguard noticed the bruise on his arm from the poor IV stick
First off, thank you all for your concern and support on my returning to work. For all the hesitation I've had about doing this, it was nice to have the good wishes and positive encouragement of everyone here. So I love being back. I am only doing paperwork but also have the social connection that is so dreadfully missing when one is a sole caregiver.
Yes, I am now exhausted again, but without the stress of the previous exhaustion. This is just the physical tiredness and trying to have everythi
Entering another transition time-always my favorite. Fall is such a beautiful time here in New England and this year it lives up to its reputation. One of the up sides for me is that my focus has changed dramatically. Our daily rides, whether it is to do errands or just take a ride, allows me to fully enjoy the season. Last year I noticed it for the first time. The leisure to just enjoy Mother Nature. Bruce so enjoyed last Halloween and am making the same arrangements to duplicate that this year
Long week. I always have the calendar out when making plans, but somehow always seem to overbook the week. Am trying to get some stuff done in preparation for the long winter-medical follow ups etc. and my priority should be Bruce's flu shot, but that is still on the to-do list. Kira had her follow up with the Vet and everything is OK. Her Kidneys are failing and Vet seems to think she is actually older than 8 years. Will have to call the people we got her from and double check. Wednesday was th
First of all, for those of you who said you could not imagine doing this with your survivor, you were right! Most of you know Bruce's limitations from my past blogs and posts. Back last year, Burce had a full body scan because they could not figure out why he was running a fever and could not transfer him to Rehab until he was fever free. All body scans will come up positive for something which is why Doctors hesitate to order them. Bruce's showed a tumor on his pancreas. At his 1 1/2 year check
This weekend is my fortieth high school reunion. Dinner tomorrow night but with the added cost of a caregiver was out of the question for me. It is also the weekend for a very large Oyster Festival in my home town and a lot of my fellow classmates need to work and therefore also would not be able to go. A fellow classmate suggested we meet tonight for a happy hour. The restaurant she chose had 1/2 price drinks and 1/2 price appetizers. Most people coming in from out of state would arrive tonight
Bruce is part Native American and has said often over the past 25 years his totem was the "Sparrowhawk"=hence Sparks. When Mary Beth was here in the early days, she came out of the room that is now the bedroom with a bunch of feathers tied together. She said to me, what is this? I said it is Bruce's totem. She was taken aback and threw it out. She said there will be no voodoo in this house. I could only laugh at the time and have shared that story with Bruce. We have had many positive things hap
This Stroke-thing. One never seems to know where the road is taking you. Recovery is so long and so hard and we mark progress in months, if not years and yet three weeks ago I never thought we would be here. Bruce's Psychologist spoke with his PCP and they suggested a light anti-depressant, which Bruce agreed to take. Today is day 10. We also tried a sleeping aid, to no avail after two weeks, so we switched to another which is also not working. Personally I think that when it comes to the sleep
I am trying to sort some things out here and preparing for the future. Money has become an issue and I have been running the numbers and Bruce has had the best week in therapy in four weeks. He is kicking his right leg when swimming and OT said he got the best movement from Bruce's right shoulder yet. And this of course occurred after I had sat down with the therapists for suggestions on how to cut back sessions. Just another little fork in the road. I spoke with Bruce's roommate in NM about the
I am strangely at peace today. Part of it was getting a girly shower without having someone here to sit with Bruce for the first time post-stroke. I just made sure he had everything he needed and said I need to take a shower. Lo and behold, he was not on the floor when I finished-lol. So, it can be done. The new WC has taken some getting used to-awful lot of parts, but he says it is comfortable. Have been reviewing our financial situation over the past few weeks. I knew this time would come. The
