We have three October birthdays in my family; sister Mary Beth, her daughter Melissa and nephew John Mike's. We have been setting a weekend aside each October to celebrate the birthdays, but also the end of summer. We don't get together as much in the winter, so this is always fun. And this weekend could not have been more perfect! Saturday was 74 degrees, so we were able to celebrate in my brother John's yard - set up perfect for Bruce. John does lobsters for the birthday kids, but we all get a
Mary Beth and Melissa are coming for the weekend. Both have birthdays in early October and they try to come one weekend to celebrate. My brother will do up dinner big time Saturday night. John's back yard is perfect for Bruce in a WC. John only has three steps into the house and plenty of room for the WC, but asking Bruce to walk up those steps is big time. Brittany will be there, with Izabella. Bruce has never refused Britt and Melissa has a lot of influence - so we shall see. Anyway, just look
Friday nights have always been down times for Bruce and I. Our friends as well. Prestroke, when we would be making plans with friends or family, Friday nights out were very rare. Long weeks, night classes, meetings, child care or activities. Friday nights were the time out, the transition to the weekend. And I was thinking last night, that it is still true now.
I am exhausted and frustrated. Work is horrid. My supervisor is questioning my decision making and my big bosses are thrilled with m
I can't believe how tired I am. I feel like I have been transported back 3 years, just a new stressor.
I thought I would blog about deciding to go back to work, as a caregiver. Early on I read most of the threads here, but the one that stuck with me was Fred. Fred's wife took two years to tend to stroke recovery and then went back to work full time. I kind of kept that as a goal for me and just about that time, work called and asked me to return: any hours, any days, paperwork only so I coul
Well the queen is home and seems to be healing nicely.
She was still fairly stoned when I got her home; cross eyed, her pretty little face is still swollen. But she handled the sliding and tottering well. She was starving. But her post-op orders were to drink for an hour, then light, soft food - about half of her normal amount. She is usually pretty vocal but wasn't on the way home and I was so relieved when she starting howling for food. Bruce and I ate first and Bruce dropped a piece of ca
I knew this week was going to be busy, but now it is down right crazy.
Weather turning colder, fall is upon us. Low 70s during the days, low 40s overnight. A hard frost will be upon us soon. Mary Beth had hers, in New Hampshire, just this weekend, so we are right behind. Our leaves are just beginning to turn. I made it a point to get Bruce out this weekend for some nice drives, as he does so love this time of year. I don't want us to be at peak and have him miss all the preliminaries!
I
I think a lot of us here tonight have our hearts and thoughts elsewhere. It is Tuesday in Australia. I can not begin to think how our Sue is going to get through today. But, I imagine as with all else she does, it will be with grace and faith. Please all do take a moment to reflect and/or pray for all the Wilkinsons. Debbie
Well, I sure needed Chat tonight. So sorry it is down.
Getting Bruce back on routine over the weekend was a challenge. I do so love the time he had with friends, getting out to dinner. The conversation was amazing. He is asking questions, giving great answers, more vocal - much less frustrated with the problem of word finding. Taking his time, working through it. Most of it, I know, is because he is with his closest friends. Even tonight with Carole and Debi, he was very different. Explained
Hi everyone. Good to be back. Big thank you's to Julie and Sue for letting you all know what was going on and for the support I needed while being out of touch.
Thank you to everyone for the concern and good wishes throughout all of this. Last three weeks seems like months. In stroke time that is just a drop in the bucket - lol. My tech guys were incredible. They were sure Toshiba was just taking a guess and they were right. Saved me hundreds. Actually tech guys suggested if it was what Tosh
One more week to go, with the work schedule and people on vacation. I always leave my paycheck for Bruce to open. He has so much fun breaking it down. But I did realize if I can continue to do 25 hours a week, leave Bruce alone a few hours, I can cover caregivers and my health insurance, without taking anything from the house finances. So that is something to consider.
Mary Beth is recovering well from surgery. She is due to go back to work on Monday, but still can't find comfortable clothin
We have been discussing recently all the difficulties we have encountered as caregivers, when our person has been in a facility. Most of us acknowledge that it revolves around the Feds and the recent cut backs - since 2010. In 2011, the Feds said "hey wait, baby, we gave them too much money!" And have spent the last year revising the numbers. We are now on revision number three. Is it really unrealistic to understand why the SNFs have no clue as to what their projected budgets will be?
So ba
So the week went well. Tomorrow is early day and I will just be ready to go when Erma gets here. So we will try again next week. Bruce has oral surgery next two Mondays, so won't be leaving him alone then. But I've agreed to try the one hour plus maybe 15 minutes the rest of the week if he has no side effects from the mouth stuff. Bruce's goal for week four is to be at two hours, and waiting for me to get home from work for bed. That will start and cut down on paid caregivers. I did not throw aw
It has been a very long and stressful week. First off the weather-oppressively hot and humid for five days. That AC makes me so claustrophobic. I need fresh air. Friday we had torrential rain. Roof in our PT room collapsed - no therapists or Patients in the area, thank God! We had another bout Saturday morning, but by 9 am it was sunny and humid, so off we go on errands and just coming out of Barnes and Noble I noticed some storm clouds, so I put the WC back and cushion in the truck. Thank goodn
I apologize to all in Caregiver Chat tonight for the hasty retreat. I heard something from the bedroom, knew Bruce was having trouble settling-will get to that, and there he is, sitting in his WC! This is scary on so many levels.
First off he transferred in sox, was actually trying to slide into his mocs. What I heard was him dropping them to the floor to get them off the WC. I leave everything set up for early am transfer. Also he had taken his 7pm meds, one of which causes drowsiness. He c
Next few months are filling in fast. Bruce needs some serious dental work, at a very high cost. He had a bad root canal back when he was in college that has resulted in some serious mouth work. We tried after the stroke to just get back to regular cleanings, but to no avail.
His college roommates from New Mexico and California are coming for a couple of days in September. You all remember New Mexico's daughter just recently stroked during child birth. Good news is she is recovering well, can
Most of you know the difficulty Bruce and I have had here. The changes in the caregivers and then the changes in the times.
Bruce is a morning person. Up with the birds and ready to go. By 4pm he is tired, regardless of what he did that day, so my working during the daytime is tough on him. He might ask the caregivers to take him for a ride, but mostly just sits with the TV until lunch and nap.
Last week was a nightmare for both of us and when I realized that this week was to be the same
We remain in transition here and as usual, I have no clue what I am doing.
I scheduled Irma for Friday mornings. This was for me to have time out, make appointments for me. With the project at work, I had to put in extra hours and used that time for work. Came home for lunch and quick rest with Bruce, and then back to work. Cathy, in the meantime needs a morning once a week to accomodate the kid's camp schedule. And Pema was off for a week, Irma covered her, again mornings.
I was signed
Different week. One of our caregivers was called away for a family emergency. I was able to replace her, but ended up working days instead of my 4 pm to 8 pm.
Work is insane. I am involved, not by choice, in two projects that are making me crazy. So I absolutely had to figure out how to put in at least my 22 hours. Carl came one night and spelled me off for a few more hours. And I am not used to working in an office with 5 other people. Most of the staff leaves by 4 pm and one at 5 pm. Made
I am trying to slow things down here. Do I know what I am doing? No way.
Right now I can't find Kira. The fireworks are making her crazy and this is a big house with a lot of hiding places. Bruce is still wide awake, for the same reason. Temperature is so-so, humidity and I am sitting here trying to decide if I turn off the AC and open the windows for overnight. Last night was a true gift, but tonight the humidity is to be on the rise.
So we have the new caregivers on board, schedule is
Coneill really got me to thinking this week about working and managing stroke. Bruce was so disabled, confused. Financially we could afford it, and I did look to Fred for advice. I kept the two year range in mind, put some money away and was able to get things taken care of here.
However have discussed this with Mary Beth often, she would have had to go back to work after FMLA and of course, our dear friend Barry, whose wife also had to go right back to work. As with stroke, you can't go bac
I am so sorry I missed Chat tonight. Two weeks in a row and I do so miss everyone. I had messaged Julie yesterday as to what was going on today. Last week, it was a medical issue, this week Bruce's friends from work came for dinner. They spell me off for work, but like to chat with just me when I get home.
Tonight Mr. Bruce was still up and stayed up until they left!
Crazy week. Cathy's children are in camp and she needed to re-arrange her schedule to accomodate that. Cathy truly needs t
Well, who is having more fun that me? I posted about Mary Beth's weekend here and the great time we all had.
Monday Bruce's college roommate visited with the family dog - always a treat. We have a great yard for dogs and Callie really does listen to Don, but she found a rabbit burrow and that did not go well. Don's priority was to get Bruce out on the deck, so he had paid attention to the weather for the week and came on the best day. Normally I would not schedule back to back visits for Bru
Mostly I do pretty well, I think. My nights are lonely, but since I have scheduled working evenings, that time is cut down and I do pop in here most nights. But sometimes I just miss conversation - not about work or stroke, just chatting. And then I realize I just miss my sister.
We telephone now weekly, on Saturday mornings when her husband is at work and the girls are either at work or sleeping. I was feeling very low this past week and sure enough, she calls and is coming for the weekend.
This is one of those perfect nights that we New Englanders stay in New England for. We have had a low sitting offshore for about a week-slow mover. Mornings have been cloudy and an afternoon shower. But weather is coming in from the Northwest which is so rare for us. System is moving out, so today woke up to sun, heat - no humidity. Clouds moved in about supper time and now all the windows are open; nice, cool breeze. Bruce crashed early. But since it was just us, nice clean up - night clothes.
