Today my mom and I were talking about the new seizure medicine I have been taking for the last 2 days. She reminded me of the last time I had a seizure in 9th grade and she panicked because she didn't know what to do. I guess between my mind going back to that day, transitioning to the new seizure medicine, and not getting enough sleep the other night from my nephew crying, it triggered a seizure. We were riding in the car and I began to feel dizzy. I usually feel dizziness sometimes as a side e
Thanks everyone for the comments on my last entry. It really helps to hear from people who can relate to what I am going through and not just outside looking in. That is what I love about StrokeNet Well I am completely off baclofen now. It feels great because I am not tired anymore. I went on a nature walk with my mom in the park and I felt great. I can certainly tell the difference in my energy level. I sleep through the entire night because I am no longer taking short naps during the day. The
Thanks everyone for all of the love and support on my stroke anniversary last month. In my last entry, I talked about how the medicines Im on made it hard for me to celebrate my stroke anniversary. I saw my neurologist and have to go back to see him in a few weeks. I told him about the side effects from my seizure medicine so he gave me a test trial of another seizure medicine to see if it helps decrease the side effects and help my white blood cell count. Today I seen my pain management doctor.
Today has been rough for me. I cried for almost 2 hours today after sleeping until 1:00 this afternoon. I kept reminding myself of all that I have accomplished. I am alive. I can walk. I can run. Im on my way to finally getting my hand back. I finally have my license. I have a car. I went on to graduate a semester early from college with a 4.0 gpa. I have worked for the highest level of government. I don't have seizures anymore. I don't have brain surgeries anymore. I don't get picked on anymore
Today I went in for a test trial of the bioness H200. Although my OT never used e-stim with me because she said I had to much tone and my doc had never heard of bioness, I still had faith. I blocked out the fact that its been almost 10 years since the stroke, blocked out the numerous times I prayed and prayed for the ability to use my left hand only to get no results, and blocked out all the time my OT and doc told me those nerves were dead. I prayed, wore my splint all morning, read some script
At the beginning of the year, I attended a New Years service at church. The choir sang this gospel song called "Expect the Great". This song was very uplifting to me because it gave me faith that this would be the year of refreshing and God would do exceedingly and abundantly above what I asked for. It also reminded me of another gospel song called "The Best is Yet to Come." I am not a big fan of gospel music but reading the lyrics is very inspiring for me. I did the Daniel Fast and started PT/O
First I just want to thank everyone for all of your support. I needed it. I am not going to talk about the past because this blog entry is not for complaining! Im writing because I have decided to try again and I need support. My doctors don't believe in me, my occupational therapist doesn't believe in me, and my family probably feels dumb for ever giving me false hope. (Please read my post about "it will come back" under the community discussion for stroke survivor and caregiver if you haven't
Well I was given a ticket for my accident. I don't know why but I don't care anymore. My dad wants me to get a lawyer. I know the DMV medical review board will take my license at the next evaluation. I was hit on my back left side so Im pretty sure they can use my loss of left field vision as reason why I shouldn't drive. After all that was the reason in the beginning. Well anyway, they can have my license. I give up. On top of the $100 ticket I have to pay, to continue driving I would still hav
First I want to start by thanking EVERYONE who commented on my last entry. It really meant s lot. It's nice to have something encouraging to read when my temporary happiness goes away. I have not let the car accident upset me too much. As I said before, driving was a pain and I was only going necessary places like to work, church, the store so I didn't enjoy it much. I did enjoy the fact that I finally had my license though. Even if I have no car, I still accomplished a milestone by getting my l
I looked to my left and seen the corner of the Army Humvee protruding through my car window. Just a few inches closer and it would've bashed into my head. I looked down at the broken glass from my window sitting in my lap. As the medics took my vitals, the police officer told me I was lucky to be alive. In my mind I asked God why didn't he just kill me...I remained calm until the medic told me I needed to go to the hospital.Suddenly I heard sounds of the ambulance siren, felt the bumpy ride unde
It definitely feels good to finally have my license. It would feel even better if my dad would lighten up! Friday was my first time driving to work by myself. On my way home I passed my dad and he turned around to catch up with me. By the time we made it home he still had tears in his eyes and hugged me as soon as I got out the car. He always blocks my car in the garage and parks the other cars behind it so I can't leave unless someone else knows. I try to obey his wishes by compromising. The ot
I started drivers ed on the day of my 17th birthday back in June 2006 waking up at 6am every morning of my summer. I never finished because I indicated on my form that I'd had a seizure in 2005. After 2 months of drivers ed and successfully passing the classroom portion, I got the devastating news that I would be permanently denied of a drivers license. My pediatric neurologist whom I hadn't seen since I was a kid, indicated on my medical records that not only did I not have any peripheral visio
Hi everyone I just wanted to say I feel better now. Ever since I finished therapy I had been feeling negative. My last 2 blogs and last post on the forums pretty much summed up how I was feeling but Im better now. I talked to some of my friends and prayed. I continue to read the bible daily. I get frustrated when I dont see results right away and even after waiting for years but I was reminded that faith is the evidence of things hoped for and not seen. Even though I can't see it, that doesn't m
I feel like I am wearing a mask. I have to cover up how I really feel. When I am hopeless I have to hide it with faith. When I have given up, I have to hide it with acceptance. When I truly am tired of being like this, I have to hide it by displaying thankfulness for life. I can never truly be myself. Ever since 2001, I have been the one people look to for inspiration. Since graduation I have spoke at 3 different churches and I speak again next month. I AM thankful for live, I DO believe Jesus i
Well first I would like to thank everyone for your uplifting comments to my last blog/post. It really meant a lot to see you all celebrating with me over my small accomplishments. but now the celebration is over. Instead of 2 more weeks of physical therapy, I got 2 more sessions. I know I reached all of my goals in pt but I really can't tell. My main goals were to go up and down stairs without using the handrail, strengthen my leg and foot enough to wear sandals, and remember to swing my arm whe
Today I graduated from occupational therapy. My tone came back and I need more botox so my ot discharged me. At first I felt sad but I have so much more to be happy about. As I posted before, I now wash both hands and can open the door using my left hand. Today I took it a step further. I didn't learn this in therapy but today as I was doing my laundry, i just reached down and put my left hand around the left handle of the clothes basket. I put my right hand around the right handle and guess wha
Recovery is definitely harder than I thought. Last week at OT, a different ot came in and rubbed some tendon in my arm and the pain went away like magic. It was amazing. It came from hurting so bad to actually feeling good. Now when I do my weight bearing I feel no pain (except my good arm getting tired from pressing down on my wrist). I was actully starting to think I was getting better. My ot gave me a new longer wrist support because she wants me to focus on my wrist right now. It keeps my wr
Only Temporary Pointless Therapy. That is the acronym I made up after my first day of therapy on Wednesday. I was just so frustrated. I was counting down until 8:00 chat then forgot about it Well on Wednesday I had physical therapy and on Thursday I had ocupational therapy. Today I had both. Wednesday was actually pretty good.
PT
I practiced curling my toes on a towel, laying on my stmach and trying to bend my ankle so my toes touch the mat, and shifting my weight to the left side by grabbing
Im just tired. Its too hard to try. Its so much easier to give up. I have to speak again on April 16th about my testimony. My last speech was about Overcoming Obstacles. To overcome obstacles simply means I succeed in dealing with obstacles that hinder my progress. I just wish those obstacles would go away. It was simple to ignore my physical disabilities and focus on succeeding academically but what do I do now? What do I do now that I have accomplished all of my goals and the things I really w
OUCH My most commonly used word since my last blog post. But I guess its a lot better than the word "can't". Being a stroke survivor is hard work especially when you're almost 10 years post stroke. I guess I have come to acceptance. I just wish I wouldve known then what I know now. I curse that One Handed in a Two World book. I always figured out how to do things with my right hand while waiting on my left hand to receive a divine healing from God and wake up and be 100% again. Well, I now reali
Yesterday I was feeling discouraged. I went shopping and all I could seem to find was stylish skinny jeans which I cannot wear with my AFO, stylish shoes which all either had heels or wouldnt fit over my AFO, and the cutest sweaters and shirts with belts that tied in the back. Someone was trying to get my attention but since she was to my left I could not see her and didnt notice until I felt a tug on my left arm. By that time she'd walked away probably thinking I was ignoring her. I was almost
Life has been very relaxing. For the first time ever, I am done with school and it feels great for now. During my brief stardom, I was recognized in public a lot. I actually went to the mall and people were staring and waving and walking up to me asking hey wasnt you the one on tv? It was kind of fun being a local celebrity. I was even asked to be a keynote speaker for an album release party for a christian singer here in North Carolina. I am thankful It feels good to get my story out there. I k
I don’t know where to begin. On Friday I found out I am the valedictorian graduating with a 4.0 GPA! I was on channel 11 news as an inspiration story. I was supposed to be on another local news station but they cancelled due to Elizabeth Edwards funeral coverage. However I did an interview with the newspaper in my city AND I will be doing another news story for another local news station on Sunday. I am just so thankful God has blessed me with the opportunity to share my testimony with so many o
Thankful
1. I remember the Thanksgiving I was stuck in the hospital. My family brought me 3 plates of food. I was on a special diet so I wasn't supposed to eat it but I tried anyway and I got sick the following day at physical therapy. Im thankful I can eat and fellowship today!
2. I remember when I was in high school and felt like I had no friends. No one knew me and the people who did know me picked at me or didn’t want to be my friend. Today I have facebook friends I don’t even know and I c
Thanks everyone for your comments to my last entry. You were right. Phil wants me back now but it still hurts when I think of how he hurt me so I have cut off contact with him for now. I am still trying to use my left arm. I wish my wrist was more straight. My friends have been tagging me in lots of pictures on facebook and the first thing I notice is my bent wrist. The baclofen is bittersweet. It straightend my fingers so I can hold thing and stretch them out but it keeps my wrist bent. My wris
